I'll tell you what I think about you.
What I saw was not somebody who wanted to help the community, or was vocal of opinions, or some other noble cause. I saw somebody who liked to bitch, kind of like what you said. I saw somebody who liked to bitch about players, about programmers, about admins, and about anything else they could find some flaw with, and not with any intention of helping or improving, but merely so you could echo chamber and feel all good about yourself that your opinions were shared by somebody else. Also like you said, hearing yourself talk. I didn't see somebody who cared too much. I saw somebody who didn't care at all about anyone aside from themselves.
It's hard to say what you were like roleplaying. If I ever roleplayed with you, the memory is overshadowed by all the trash talking you did in my admin chat, for which I initially expelled you from the admin team to begin with. Of course, as soon as I did that, you just immediately turned your rants against the admin team as well. This pisses me off especially, because the admins don't get paid. The admins are volunteers who sacrifice a little bit of their sanity and put up with people's shit no matter how valid or inane and try their best to make the experience of the server better for as many people possible at a given moment. When we decided that we didn't appreciate having one of our own who was actively and consistently trashing other players for every little mistake, I decided to take away your powers, because my attempts to shift your behavior were completely ignored. I know damn well I had spoken to you about your problem long before it even got you kicked off the admin team, much less banned outright. Since the behavior got worse after having your admin powers stripped, that resulted in a ban.
So I ask you, why should I expect an appeal to go any differently, when there have already been attempts to mitigate that behavior in the past? Because caring for this place and being toxic for this place are not mutually exclusive concepts, and I really don't give a damn how much somebody cares if they still behave as a toxic community member and gatekeeper that drives off new players, of which you eventually did. When I learned that players were leaving because of you, I had enough. There's things on this server that I care strongly about which even I can't alter, despite being host. Well, I could, because "fuck you I'm host", but I know damn well that doing so would generally upset a great deal of people, and even though I am so absolutely sure of my infallible genius (sarcasm), sometimes I need to just chill the fuck out and put my trust in somebody else, and when that happens, I choose not to worry about it.