Scree wrote:This issue is, this isn't the only time you've resorted to passive-aggressive sniping at people in the discord. It's not even the worst. This is just the straw that broke the camel's back. You've got a reputation for doing nothing but complain. There's been occasions where the complaining has escalated into taking things into people's DMs and bitching at them because you blame them for you not getting a scene or something.
You were personally responsible for me making an announcement not a couple of months ago telling people to take their critique to modmail so that our nicer staff wouldn't have to be subject to harassment in their DMs, specifically over an incident where I know damn well you wouldn't dare to speak to me or Dragor in the way you did.
And when people ask for help in the coding discussions, you come out with remarks like this:
For most of Scree's points, I would like to believe that I've already been improving even at the time of the ban. I've reigned back my 'casual' complaints about scenes or what have you severely. The issue with staff harassment was a one-time situation and it won't repeat either, as I got the message perfectly clear (and tbh I probably would have went to modmail directly if I was actually used to it. Pretty much two years of constant "go to staff directly if you have problems" made me too used to that idea so I only thought of modmail as 'ahelp but for discord stuff'). And the 'attacks on other developers' aspect, I've been trying my damndest to only critique and/or bring up points related to the idea, the PR, the code, whatever, and not person behind it. Sometimes arguments do tend to get more heated, although even then I try to maintain my focus on the discussion/argument and not on people involved. But it does get hard when on regular basis in return to arguments about specifically idea, implementation, concept itself, I get arguments about my personality or the type of argument I tend to present. Which I just try to suck up and move on, usually, since I know that if I respond, I only invite argument to get even more personal than other people are making it by targeting me instead of my points.
As for the final part of the points brought up...
Scree wrote:This is without going into the longstanding trend of arguments kicking off in spacelobby or one of the off-topic channels and finding you in the middle of them.
Long story short, I've had a pleasant few days not having to hear your name attached to yet another argument happening somewhere. If I were to let you back in, I'd prefer not to see any more flare-ups with you in the middle of them. And I don't want to hear any lawyering on this either. The technical letter of the rules is far less important than the spirit of them.
This really seems to not point any issues actually related to me... Beyond me just being part of discussions that end up going sour, whether I started it or not, whether I was reason it got sour or not. Which, I'd argue, is not too fair a point. Unless there is a different implication behind those words beyond just "not liking to see this person specifically be part of arguments" while not having issues with arguments of same tone happening without them involved, at which point I'm sorry but I don't see it here.
nerdass wrote:in fact the only way i'd be comfortable with you coming back is if you were banned from commenting on github, and permanently blocked from participating in any of the development channels
This just seems like "trade ban in one place for ban in another" type of deal, which is something I'd argue is straight up unfair, regardless of circumstance.
Nanaki, Mr_Signmeup, rotago wrote:general points related to me being targeted as well
I appreciate the support and I do still hold firm belief that people were pretty much enabled in making the microaggressions on exactly same level as the 'straw' that led to the ban towards me on regular basis, so while I won't deny in a bit that what I did was a dick move and wrong... I would also argue that normality of those dick moves towards me shouldn't be treated as normal. People say I'm contrarian for sake of being contrarian, but I just prefer looking at things from negative lens if only because it allows to actually discuss and notice both ups and downs of things, not just gush over how good it will be.
In general, I reiterate what I said in the OP. I don't deny any wrongdoings that I did, and I would not repeat it again or at least do my best not to. But to add to that, I feel it really should be a two-way road in that regard. Because it honestly got to the point where I regularly have to specifically stop myself from making a light snap towards someone's personality or general way to conduct a discussion or argument, in part because of how often I am on the recieving end of such, it just starts to feel normal. The situation that was 'the straw', I just didn't in time. I don't conciously want to attack people personally and never have active intent of doing so. And I have been trying to improve on way I conduct myself during discussions or arguments, to not appear like I do intend to personally target a person. But fact that I still regularly get tiny personal jabs that people are perfectly allowed to get away with does not make it easy.