[unknown] RunaDacino - Discord Ban for behaviour

[runadacino]

Byond account and character name: CKey: runadacino Active characters: Gabriela King, Anika Lois
Discord ID (if applicable): Runa/Hoihe Dacino#6149
Banning admin: Unknown, multiple were present after being called but I cannot recall all of them.
Ban type (What are you banned from?): Banned off of discord
Ban reason given:
I was given a warning by Scree without being banned that I should not use language that wishes harm upon another community member.

Later on, when the topic in question was requested to cease by either JoanRisu or Very Soft, I did not cease and instead continued by using toxic language towards those present, including the administration staff.
Ban length: Permanent
Approximate date that the ban was placed (including time zone): 04/10/2020, ~22:00 at UTC+2
Your side of the story:
I have had tabbed in on an ongoing discussion in #off-topic between community members, and there I've seen a comic detailing an encounter between a transgender woman and a cisgender woman, apparently dating and breaking it off due to her being trans. The comic had concluded with that same cisgender woman going on to date a transman. While I do not argue the comic was tacky and strawman-like in its second half, I found the scenario it invoked to be something familiar to some of my friends and stories of strangers I've read in my support groups. As such, when the community member in question described the comic as trash, I'd already been on edge, pinging them to inquire as to their reasons.

When their reasons given were the scenario it invoked, I went on to press them with a hypothetical of "assume a physically indistinguishable transwoman, who passes 100% and their partner is fine with them being unable to bear children. Is it not bigotry then, to break up with them over their partner being trans?" To which they denied it being bigotry, to which I've retorted with harsh words telling them to hurt themselves, while questioning what such an individual might even be doing in a community so full of various LGBT individuals.

This sparked a heated flamewar between me and various members of the community, including certain staff. Furthermore, about this time was when Screen arrived to give me the warning that he /should/ already ban me over that statement, but he will let it slide with a warning to not do that ever again.

This flamewar seemed to lead nowhere, and more and more admins were joining in. And the longer it went, the more and more frustrated I became as I found even admins to be unable to understand my key issue with the earlier statements. They spoke about preferences and how it's critical to our community, while to me, this whole topic is not about preferences but other things I shall detail later. Certain community members went on to talk about thought police, either literally or implicitly, while others spoke of it reminding them of incel talking points.

There were some neutral participants, who merely focused on the comic rather than "identity vs thought police", who also commented that the two parties were talking about separate topics.

By the time the order to cease this line of discussion came, I had felt quite frustrated and in ways, betrayed and saw the neutral request as being made in support of what I considered abhorrent to be present in our community, and so rather than stepping away, I went to use harsh expletives to tell everyone present off.

Afterwards, I was contacted by a friend in DMs over whether I was feeling OK or not. With them, I was able to express the root of why I had felt betrayed, and thus so easy to frustrate and quick to engage the other participants as if it were a forum without our rules.

Simply put,
A) If someone physically completely matches the sex an individual is attracted to, and said individual had made clear confirmation that they are indeed physically and socially attracted to the party in question, then upon discovery they are transgender and the inability to bear own children was irrelevant, the only reason their attraction should cease would be due to their refusal to accept the individual as their gender - which to me counts as bigotry.
B) I know people either personally or through support groups who have been dating people for a decent length of time, even going as far as doing everything a relationship would involve. Then, their partner had learnt through an unintended accident they were transgender, and suddenly after a lengthy relationship that had no issues whatsoever, said partner turned violent or simply broke up with them.
C) The broader topic of people being given certain things in life without their input, which then would go on to haunt them until the end of their life no matter what they do, is an emotional one for me for reasons other than those related to transgender topics.
D) My understanding that all who participate in our community are pro-LGBT, and thus the community can be treated as something of a safe haven from certain beliefs - causing a sense of betrayal when certain beliefs are presented.

Then they'd explained that my sense of betrayal was misplaced, as there was a failure of communication where people were talking about the comic, while I was talking about hypotheticals and the experiences of acquaintances in real life.




Why you think you should be unbanned:

I understand that regardless of my personal feelings over certain topics, I must not tell fellow community members to cause harm to themselves as it too breaks their sense of safety our community is supposed to provide.

Should I be unable to engage in certain topics without them leaving me frustrated enough to engage in a manner that breaks our rules, I should step away from the discord server for a certain amount of time that ensures that the discussion in question had moved on from that given topic, and if it hadn't - repeat rather than use violent language.

Should I feel that certain words or opinions expressed violate things that my understanding of server rules would discourage from being displayed in our community, I should, knowing the way I am unable to maintain a cool head during such, merely leave a message at Violet's desk and move on.

Furthermore, should I do engage in a discussion that was originally not involving a topic that I know I should step away from, and a member of the staff comes and orders the discussion to cease, I must do as requested - even if I feel otherwise.


Therefore, by knowing which topics are those that can make me irrationally, I should be able to stay away from a repeat accident by actively looking out to avoid participating in them.

[Demicus_Maximus]

I figured that once everything calmed down, you'd be good to go. Appeal accepted, welcome back.