[JerTheAce] Hoodoo - Toxic Behavior

[hoodoo]

Byond account and character name: hoodoosharp
Discord ID (if applicable): Hoodoo#7800
Banning admin: JerTheAce
Ban type (What are you banned from?): Banned from Server & Discord
Ban reason given: History of Toxic Behavior + Disrespecting Staff
Ban length: Permanent
Approximate date that the ban was placed (including time zone): 8/23/19
Your side of the story: I've been a pretty shitty person on and off for a long time. For reasons I've never really understood, my personality fluctuates from being normal and friendly to seeking conflict and wanting to frustrate others once or twice a month. It took more than just being banned permanently to realize that, but about a month after being banned I did eventually come to understand it as a serious problem rather than just a feature of my personality. I spent several months working on changing this - I was tired of constantly fighting people I liked and alienating myself from them as a result.

It's been 7 months since I was banned, and I have tried my best to change myself for the better; for the most part this has been successful, I haven't lost control of my temper in months. I am applying to be unbanned because I am reasonably certain I will not be getting myself banned again with an outburst in the future.

Why you think you should be unbanned: I've been around this community literally since it first opened to the public. I've served as a moderator, run community events, and delivered quality roleplay for years on Vore Station. I sent sincere apologies to everyone involved with the events of my ban over half a year ago, because I knew at the time that I'd fucked up. It's a new decade now, and I'm back because I honestly believe I can positive and prominent member of the community once again.

[Aces]

Open to community input.

[Thranos]

Actively lied to staff in some strange, seemingly politically motivated campaign against me.
Repeatedly attempted to spread false rumours about me in doing so, attempted to fabricate "hateful attacks" against themelves to justify their actions, and generally was extremely toxic.
I'm not the only user to have been on the receiving end of this, but as far as I can tell, I got the majority of it. And there was a lot of it, nearly nonstop, for nebulous reasons.

"I sent sincere apologies to everyone involved with the events of my ban over half a year ago, because I knew at the time that I'd fucked up,"

You say this, but I suppose mine was lost in the mail?
I cannot stress enough that my input is

NO.
FUCK NO.
ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NO.

[Aces]

Directly lying to the staff, me in particular, was a large part of what caused the ban to occur. You attempted to exploit a policy wherein we don't accept screenshots of private logs as evidence for wrongdoing. We need to be able to see the logs ourselves. I'm not sure if it was the specific incident that caused the ban, but I know it played a role, and since it sticks out in my mind it will be what I talk about now.

You used this to harass Thranos directly, then denied it when I confronted you about it, but by this point I knew something was fishy as you already had a history of harassing them over something that happened I don't even know how long ago by that point. So since I had a feeling you were bullshitting me, I asked Thranos to let me verify the logs in another way and I caught you red handed.

And why were you doing this?

Allegedly Thranos at some point told you to, if I recall "neck yourself", that is to hang yourself, over some inane argument you two had that is still a mystery to me even now. The thing is, I can't find logs of this incident occurring, I don't know the motivations, and furthermore Thranos has little reason to lie about it, assuming it happened at all, because I have expressed repeatedly that I don't plan to ban people for a past stupid comment if they owe up to it. Either Thranos sincerely forgot, or it never happened to begin with. On the other hand, considering your willingness to lie about other things, I am far more willing to give Thranos the benefit of the doubt. He has a habit of pissing me off, but he had never once gone around behind my back about anything. Even the times when he has pissed people off deliberately, he never lied about it or denied his involvement regardless of whether or not he believed his actions to be right or wrong at the time.

You on the other hand lied to my face. You lied knowing full well what you were doing to be wrong. I have no reason to accept your appeal because you destroyed that trust and anything you say is now suspect, and I can only assume you are choosing your words merely to appease the staff and return to the server.

That all said, I also will not deny this appeal myself. This will be left to another headmin to decide. Not Demicus, though. I know them to have a bias favoring you, just as I have a bias against you, and so they will not get the final decision on this either.

[JoanRisu]

I have a bit of bias and so unless it is absolutely needed I will approach this situation in a more advisory capacity for the parties instead of pushing support.

Just for the record, Ace's assumption that the situation he described as the final straw is correct and was almost a blacklist situation. It didn't end up that way because an apology was made without attempting an appeal at the time.

With that out of the way, let me address the appeal directly. I think it is important to get your (Hoodoo) affairs in order with everyone involved with the original ban before pursuing this further, including with affected parties who felt the brunt of this because leaving related loose ends open will affect how this will go moving forward.

And I want you, and really everyone who will be checking on this appeal, to keep this in mind: As intertwined as they are, there is a difference between your relationship with another person and resolving a specific issue/situation with another person. I'm not expecting hugs and kisses from everyone. What I expect is the specific issue(s) people have related to an appeal to be actually talked out and resolved.

Until then, I don't know if this appeal can move forward in any productive capacity even if the behavior that started all this has been worked on. It's a step forward to work on your behavior, it's an extra mile to fully follow through with the changes.

[hoodoo]

Honestly, I had thought my bad attitude and the issue involving Ace was what lent to my ban, more involving a newer member than Thranos. I had thought we had mutually blocked each other, which is why I never sent an apology, I sent one to everyone else.

In my time to move on, I've tried not to hold on to grudges and don't think back on that. However, I'd like to apologize for the way I acted in all of this. My behavior was stupid, unthinking, and worst of all pointless. Even if I had thought I was wronged, two wrongs don't make a right and I'm sorry for what I did, it will not happen again.

I've thought a lot on this and my feelings on this matter have helped me come to realize how pointless holding on to grudges is and how irrational they make you. I was a bit destructive for a while, both in life and out of it, and got into some fights I shouldn't have. However, I realized I was on the wrong path and have worked to make myself better and I feel I've made significant headway. I've been worried over my outbursts in the past, but have not had one in months, a new record for myself. Every time I got in trouble was related to one of these outbursts - outside of them, I was well known as a positive member of the community: I truly believe I can be that person again, rather than an issue.

@Ace: I promised you I would not return unless I fixed myself, and you lifted the ban on me appealing. I'd like to think you believed me then, or you wouldn't have done that. I'm here because I believe I carried out that promise.

@Thranos: I'm truly sorry. I treated you unfairly and aggressively. I was wrong then, and I if I could take it back I would.

[Aethirshero]

I can vouch for Hoodoo when they say that they've been having those outbursts less lately. It's pretty apparent when it's happening, but there hasn't been a bad day like that in some time now.

So for what it's worth, I think they should be let back in. They were a good, generally liked member of the community, they've served their time and apologized for their actions, and I don't think this behavior will happen again.

SUPPORT

[Thranos]

I had thought we had mutually blocked each other, which is why I never sent an apology, I sent one to everyone else.

And yet, you could have easily reached out via Ace or any member of the staff. Or perhaps through Aethirshero here, who just tonight DM'd me out of the blue about the events leading up to your ban, asking me to "let it go", then accusing me of lying before blocking me.

Allegedly, somehow, they were physically watching our DMs at just the right time to see the comment you claim I sent, but were unable to copy it or otherwise preserve evidence of it. And then, in response to this shocking post that nobody but you and them somehow ever saw, they said nothing about it to any of the staff whatsoever, nor confronted me or anyone else with this claim until today, when you apealed.

You two must be dairy farmers, because you sure reek of bullshit.

[Aces]

I want to point out that I do recall them reaching out to apologize in PMs without any implied entitlement to an appeal, but I am unable to find the logs, as they are not saved in my history when I type "Hoodoo" into my past conversations.

It is also entirely possible you had them blocked, Thranos. I advised you to do just that. Whether or not you took that advice or later unblocked them, I do not know, but even the assumption that you were blocked is probably a fair one since I'd assume I was blocked if I were in the same position. Furthermore I just realized that Hoodoo could not send the apologies directly anyway because I had them blocked myself, and furthermore, they were unable to connect to the server.

So Aethirshero was the one who forwarded those instead. But, again putting myself in that position, if I believed you blocked me, I wouldn't use a third party to circumvent that. I would just give it up. So the excuse seems rational, but due to past lying, still suspect to Thranos and I.

[Aces]

Also.


Here's that apology note I got.

A little digging seems to imply that the lying was not the final straw on its own but rather a different conversation where you were calling out Thranos in the server in a really snarky and public manner. Yet, that wasn't even the only incident at the time, as you had also snapped at Amaya and Bites for something though I'm not sure what.