[jertheace] DeepIndigo - everything ban

[DeepIndigo]

However, that's not my only reason to dislike Aro, I've got other reasons, including testimony from Sun and a couple other friends who aren't involved in all of this in the slightest, plus my own experiences.

[DeepIndigo]

but w/e, I"ll smooth shit out with him too if he's up to it regardless of ban removal/non-removal. Don't blame him if he's not.

[VerySoft]

You make some damn good points, yet again Soft. It'd be rad to have the chance to maybe work past all this shit. One look at my admin app thread will tell you I'm not all bad if all those people were willing to voice support for me. It kinda bugs me how people keep saying it's "grudges" though. If you went to restaurant, and had a really bad, time and again, even after giving the place multiple goes, wouldn't that sour your opinion of the place? That's how I feel about the admins my guffs are with. I never said I'm not open to trying to sort shit with them, and this isn't the first time I've said I want to. You can ask Zal or Kay, I'm pretty sure I've told them both more than once that I'm down to try and smooth shit over with Scree and Dhael. And yeah, I'm a little sore about Aro's post in my admin app, especially because i went and asked him why he said the shit I took issue with and the best he could give me as a non-commital "I'unno I thought I heard X one time".

I understand where you're coming from I think, but:
There is a big difference between an establishment, and its staff. Someone who you might not like very much, may very well make something good of themselves when put into new positions. Someone who makes a shit line cook may have a much better mind and skillset for management, even though they perform poorly in other areas.

Having looked over the admin app you made, Aro was not the only one who was not in support of you, just the last before Ace. I really think that's a grudge you might be better off dropping, because it doesn't really stand up to scrutiny, regardless of his reasoning.

I think you would do well to do your best to reflect on what went wrong here, and how you could improve yourself, and your relations with the staff members if they'll allow it.

And I say grudges, because your poor past with Arokha came up multiple times through this thread and the chat logs, and was eluded to as being a fair reason for present action. It's clear that you're holding on to something there, when really, Arokha's just another person on the internet. Someone you're gonna have to deal with in some form or another if you're going to be around in the communities they are in. You don't have to like them or play with them, you don't have to forget what's happened. But it would be in the best interest of all involved to put that stuff behind you when dealing with a community it's unrelated to.

If you have legitimate criticism or concern in any community, it's best to politely gather all relevant information, and present it to those in charge.

I do hope you can do better and learn from this going forward. Some of it's pretty serious business.

[DeepIndigo]

If you have legitimate criticism or concern in any community, it's best to politely gather all relevant information, and present it to those in charge.

That was kind of part of the issue, I didn't exactly feel like I could bring it to them and get a fair shake. My impression was, that it would just get deflected due to nepotism. That Kayleen log I keep referencing is a great example. She doesn't even express a willingness to maybe consider the things leveled against Aro there, because he's her friend. She more or less says as much, then just keeps excusing all the shit or outright deflecting it. In the restaurant metaphor, Scree and Dhael are the restaurants, not the staff.

[DeepIndigo]

Ace said "one post" though and I've kind of gone over that, hopefully he sees my post back there. I'm gonna stop replying to the thread and just keep refreshing.

[VerySoft]

That was kind of part of the issue, I didn't exactly feel like I could bring it to them and get a fair shake. My impression was, that it would just get deflected due to nepotism. That Kayleen log I keep referencing is a great example. She doesn't even express a willingness to maybe consider the things leveled against Aro there, because he's her friend. She more or less says as much, then just keeps excusing all the shit or outright deflecting it. In the restaurant metaphor, Scree and Dhael are the restaurants, not the staff.

I think though that in the example of the kayleen log, shit had already gone down and gone public. She very well may have been more impartial, or forwarded the concerns to someone more impartial, had such concerns been raised when the metaphorical bee hive had not been struck.

Further, while it was not you who said it, the discussion with her about Aro literally started with

SunSerenade - Yesterday at 9:34 PM
Arokha is just a pile of human trash that no one likes in real life, so he hides away in vore communities where he can be sexually and emotionally stimulated

Which, I can imagine might make a friend of Aro become a bit defensive in a conversation about them. There were plenty of later comments from both of you in there that were no less harsh, rather than getting straight to your issues. Kayleen may not have been impartial, but she also expressed as much plainly to you, rather than hiding it.

And, I understand that in your metaphor the admins are the restaurants, the reason I think that the metaphor does not work is because most restaurants live and die by their reputation with little chance for recovery. People on the other hand can change and move on a lot more easily than businesses can. It was meant to help you see, that while you may have had a bad experience before, perhaps things are somewhat different now.

I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me. Thank you for the respectful discourse.

[DeepIndigo]

I know I said I wasn't gonna reply anymore, but if anyone wants to ask me anything or call me shit or whatever, I'm DeepIndigo#9446 on discord.

[Silhouette]

Man, if it was only that you had a problem with some of the admins, I'm sure you'd have had a lot more sympathetic voices. And personally, because I saw a post mentioning him early on, I thought Nightwing was one of the better staff, myself. Back when I had my whole debacle go down, he was really the only person who ever came to talk things out with me in a manner that wasn't fire and steel, even if he wasn't sympathetic and didn't believe me. I miss him.

But this is something pretty incredible. I mean, I'm always skeptical, but that is some pretty deep ( ) machiavellian scheming, there. I mean, it's almost storybook.

That said, I'd personally say that no matter the issues you have with anyone, there's a moral line that shouldn't be crossed. You can fight and shout if you think you've been treated unfairly, or if you think you're just, and by no means should anything stop you if you truly believe that... but there's a moral line to it, and it's pretty universal: Don't try to hurt anyone, and certainly don't want to. (Well, it used to be universal; Recently, people have weird ideas about politics)

So, no more jokes, and silly comments from me: When you start doing stuff with the explicit intent to hurt someone, you've outright crossed the line. Judging by this whole series of posts and logs and stuff, you guys engaged purely with the intent to hurt someone, and that's not good. It's not just. It's not right. It doesn't matter if you believe they're bad for the server, or a bad admin; Your intention was to do harm, even if it wasn't physically, although it sounds like that idea was thrown around later.

That's bad, man. There's no good in doing something with that kind of foul intent. It is completely malevolent.

I'm not going to go on and on, trying to give you anymore grief than you already have; I'm sure that, at the time, you may have convinced yourself that what you were doing was okay, or right, or just. I know what it is like to get caught up in a tide of anger; Part of the ongoing test of your morality and conscience is how you deal with those times. Sometimes you stumble, though, and you have to take a moment to reflect on everything that has happened and try to put it right, or at least come out of it the better person.

That's what I suggest at the moment; You should probably take a break and some time away to think about your intentions and how they became this way, and try to make sure that you're actually doing what you want to, not something driven out of anger or resentment. It might be too late for you, here at VIRGO, but this can still be something you can learn from.

[PontifexMinimus]

I always hated equating toxic players to cancer.

As someone who knows how cancer is, it's far too tame. Toxic players are merely a blight, an unpleasantness in their mannerisms and behaviour, someone who is merely not fitting in the community. We all know a few toxic players or someone we perceive as toxic in our life. We avoid them and remove them if they become too overbearing.

Cancer is different. It's a disingenuous, vile growth. It begins small, poses as harmless and little more than a slight bump or short, fleeting unwellness. It creeps and infests its way through your body, slowly turning your own cells one by one against you, infecting them with its own malovence. Often, when it's detected, the symptoms are already fully manifest. A struggle ensues to keep the body alive, to cling to health and to defeat the tumour is a struggle. Sneaky, malovent, tricky. That is cancer.

A cancerous player, I thought, would not exist. I was proven wrong. it's the epitome of twisted sadism on suffering to turn other players against a member of the community, manipulating and emotionally bruteforce them to do your petty, little bidding.

[3:44 AM] DeepIndigo: Ico, you're doing god's work
[3:44 AM] DeepIndigo: taking this shithead down a peg

[3:47 AM] DeepIndigo: don't let your self get attached
[3:47 AM] DeepIndigo: the best method is to only consider what he's saying long enough to write a reply(edited)
[3:47 AM] DeepIndigo: this isn't a human you're dealing with
[3:47 AM] DeepIndigo: trust me
[3:47 AM] DeepIndigo: I'll pass along a story from a friend and you'll see why this must be done

Look at this. This is what you do. YOu literally dehumanize and glorify your fucking agenda.

[3:52 AM] DeepIndigo: We appreciate it Ico
[3:52 AM] DeepIndigo: and it's a good thing you're doing
[3:53 AM] DeepIndigo: he's an absolute twat, especially once he doesn't think you have anything he wants
[3:53 AM] DeepIndigo: he's nice until he can't get something from you
[3:53 AM] DeepIndigo: then he turns into a shitlord

It's sickening how you employ methods of religious fanatics and cult leaders to vilify a person just because of your own grievances. It's quite ironic what you write here, especially the "He's nice until he doesn't get what he wants.". Pot, kettle, black? Rings a bell?

quote][4:09 AM] Icowom: .. Im just a bit disgusted and
[4:10 AM] Icowom: Well, IRL distressed over a few things too
[4:10 AM] DeepIndigo: Like I said, if he bans you over this, just appeal it, state your case, these screenies as evidence, and I'll get Zal/Demi/Kayleen involved if possible[/quote]

You ignore the emotional state of your pawn, because you know their distress and even threatening punitive actions would serve your "cause".

[4:17 AM] DeepIndigo: Ico
[4:17 AM] DeepIndigo: you've done a good thing
[4:17 AM] DeepIndigo: sometimes great men must do horrible things for a better tomorrow

Sometimes horrible people try to make themselves hero, because in their delusion, they think they are in the right.
Sometimes good people need to oust someone from their midst, because they are the snake.

You are the snake.
You are the glorious, terrifying evidence to something I didn't believe exists.
A cancerous player.

I'm so disappointed and disgusted. I thought you are a friend, but here I see you doing this. Here is something I didn't think is possible. I was fooled by a sweet exterior. I feel betrayed. I feel disgusted. I don't know if anything you ever said to me is even true. Was it just to garner my sympathy? I feel nauseous at the thought that I could've been roped into this. I didn't even know you are capable of this. I feel guilty for not noticing sooner. I don't know how to deal with this, OOC and ICly, considering one of my chars is the partner of one of yours.
I probably just gonna axe them.

What's worse, you still tried to trivialize what you've done, just as you noticed I'm online. Then, as you realized that I'm not on your side, try to emotionally blackmail me to support or even listen to you. It's sickening.
I'm not a fairweather friend. I'm done with you for the time being. Maybe, in the future, I will consider forgiving you. But I will not forget any of this.

[paller1223]