[romanatcolgate] indianajoe4323 - mental health ban

[heptagonist]

indianajoe4323 - Jonas Cooper
Discord ID: heptagonist
romanatcolgate
Ban type: Temporary
Ban reason given: Suicidal character + concern for player health
Approx. 3 days
8/8/2024, ~17:00 mountain standard time
Took IC insults and bullying a little too seriously, got a bit out of hand OOC and IC.:
I'm not asking for a total unban, but I would like the duration reduced. This was nothing I can't deal with, and I will be speaking with someone IRL shortly after posting this. I take my mental health very seriously, and I know the warning signs, I just needed a slap to pull out of it. This isn't to say I would have spiraled out of control without intervention, as I was actually talking it out somewhere between IC and OOC with a trusted friend in game. It is better to talk to *anyone* than no one. I know that when I feel such things, the most important thing to do is to tell someone and offload your burden, and that was precisely what I was doing. I have spoken to the friend over discord, and they did not mind the IC interaction. I understand if you do not wish to shorten the ban, let alone remove it, but I ask that it be shortened to one day. Rest assured, I will NOT be killing myself. You have my word on that.

[RomanaTColgate]

I'm going to reject this but I will try and explain why. There's a few things at play here.

First and foremost, it isn't OK to make your mental health the issue of other players in the game. Period. We're not professionals, we can't give you the help you need if you're struggling with suicide. I appreciate that you tried to keep it to your friend who understands, that's good, but it was still visible to ghosts and especially to all the admins ghosting. And, as someone who has been the friend giving help to suicidal folks that can be an incredible burden to them. Even if I was OOCly comfortable with someone and helped them if I got walked up to by that same person and had their suicidality dumped on my lap I'd outright panic. It's a profoundly distressing thing to deal with as a layperson. You need to keep these things OOC with people who have expressly agreed with it.

Second, I would like to direct your attention to Rule 13. We expressly ban out and out suicide and are very strict on themes of IC suicidality. While the reason I imposed this ban was for the OOC suicidality, I wanted to stress this - as I think it's the OOC that made you ICly suicidal. They're not to be bandied about lightly. I understand your character was treated less than kindly by some but that you would then RP them as suicidal for it is alarming. If the people involved knew or learned that their actions led you to that it would not be nice (as such happened to one of the staff who learned of this). It is distressing that you would feel suicidal OOCly and want to then RP that out in front of people ICly.

Third, if the actions of people towards your character are causing you to become suicidal OOCly then there is something seriously wrong and even dangerous about being here. If you can't engage with this place in a healthy manner you need to not engage at all, or learn to disengage before it leads to such. Since this didn't happen today you need some time off to consider how to do this if you're wanting and able to continue participating here.

Fourth, it is a three day ban. That is not a long time in the first place. If your need to be here is so large that taking three days off causes you distress then there may be an issue with if you're engaging with this server healthily.

My heart bleeds for you. I've gone through dealing with suicide often and have helped many friends through it to my great detriment. I genuinely hope that you are better and that you shake this, and if you don't already have professional help helping you manage this that you get some. You aren't booted forever, you're welcome back to the server after three days and you weren't banned from the Discord either so you're not cut off from the community either. Ultimately what the staff team, and especially I, want is for you to ensure that you get better and that you can engage with us in a healthy manner that doesn't have the potential to harm you, that's all.

So I hope you get better. Focus on taking care of yourself for the three days, please.