Banned From Sever and Discord

[tonyvld]

Byond account and character name: tonyvld

Discord ID (if applicable):tonyvld

Banning admin: tankthebirb

Ban type (What are you banned from?): Server and station ban

Ban reason given: DMing someone who left the Discord Server.

Ban length: Permanent
Approximate date that the ban was placed (including time zone): Banned on 7/25/2023 at around 10:40 EST
Your side of the story: I had seen a character on station that I was interested in, but the round was coming to an end and I was curious to see if they were up for a meet and greet. Not RP or anything, just a meet and greet and at the time I was already a ghost and leaving for food. I looked them up in the server to @ them, so I could see if they'd be ok with this. I found them and seen they had left the discord server. But, like an idiot I DM'd them directly.They promptly cursed me out. No further attempts at contact with them was made on my end after answering their questions.

Why you think you should be unbanned: I know what I did was wrong, I shouldn't be looking THAT hard for ANYONE. If they leave, then they've left and I need to let it be. My intentions aren't what matters, what matters is I did something very stupid and tried contacting someone who had left. It was dumb, it was creepy. I won't reach out to others unless they reach out to me or send me their discord, in round. Like it should be. I'm an idiot for going to that extent, and it's a mistake I won't be making ever again, as I know others have their reasons for leaving and I need to respect that. I understand that what I did was wrong and why. We discussed how it goes past creepy. It's a violation of privacy that makes people feel insecure and will drive people off from the community. Even if that is not my intent. I hope this message reaches you all well, and I understand that the reason why I did this is unacceptable. As it could make someone uncomfortable, since they don't know who I am, and a random DM from someone is just weird. It won't happen again.

[bobofboblandia]

Im going to preface this by saying No Support, and then get into why

You were previously hit with a QC ban for being, to be blunt, creepy to people, and after a long time, the ban was removed. Queue up a bit more time, and you start playing here again, and IMMEDIATELY fall into bad habits again within two weeks of playing, but ultimately, this isnt even the biggest reason why I say no support, though it is a big one, because to me, manipulation is something that is deeply, unbelievably unacceptable, and you very crudely attempted to do so to me after I contacted you via Modmail by trying to take the conversation to DMs where its harder to keep track of by the rest of the admin team; Even after I told you multiple times to keep it to the official modmail, you persisted, even after you were banned and your ban included a specific warning Not to contact the admins directly over it you persisted until I needed to completely block you. You also directly lied to the admin team when you said earlier that you were 'just scrolling through old conversations' on the discord, and thats how you found them, but in this very application you admit that wasnt the reason. This is something I cannot simply abide, because it not only shows that the reason why you got the original ban was completely justified, but that it should never have been removed in the first place

[tonyvld]

Bob, I admit that it is an old habit. But it wasn't in two weeks that this happened. I've been back for two years, with no trouble whatsoever. And yes, I did scroll through the discord to find them, like the server itself. And that is what I meant when I said I looked for them. And I did try talking to you, about what was going on. Respected that you wanted it in modmail. I did message you originally to see what was going on, when I got the DM from Violet's Desk. Then after you asked to have it in modmail I did so. Then would message you to let you know when I had responded and when the food had arrived, staying attentive that way in case of a delayed response, you could let them know "Hey, give him a minute he went to nab some food." I do admit I asked you about the length of the ban, later I asked about when I should post the appeal. Since I was trying to not post too soon or too late.

[TankTheBirb]

This is a Denied from me. What I've seen here is a start to understanding what you did wrong. But we had to literally spoon feed these to you in modmail. Also, your ban reason given is not your actual ban reason message. That would be this below.

Ok Tony, what we're trying to get you to explain is your logic and reasoning for why you did this, and then to explain for why you shouldn't do this. Reaching out to people who have left the discord because you saw them in game is, blantantly, creepy. People do not like that. They leave for their own reasons. You shouldn't reach out to people because you searched their character name on discord and you want to arrange something in game. Doing this makes people feel uncomfortable, doing this makes people feel unsafe. It makes people feel like they shouldn't be here. And we have had to literally spoon feed you what it takes to be a basic level good person. So here's what is gonna happen. You'll be banned, and you can appeal on the forum. And you will be unbanned when you can properly demonstrate that you realize what you did was wrong because the logic and reasoning behind it was wrong. And when you can satisfactorily explain that, we will unban you. Please do not reach out to members of staff to get this repealed, you are only to appeal on the forums.

Now here's why you're not being unbanned after this appeal:

1. You completely lapsed in play activity for a long period of time starting right after you were unbanned. And then you start playing again for 2 weeks and the behavior that got you banned resumes again. And so you get banned. The acceptable ratio of incidents to logins is 0, but I would be far more willing to make this a serious warning if that was 2 years of completely unproblematic (if not outright positive) behavior across active playtime. So far what you've convinced me of is that if you were allowed to return, this would just happen again. And if we hadn't told you to stop, you wouldn't have stopped doing this to other people.

2. You did not stop messaging an admin on the team you thought you were friendly with until you were blocked. You significantly overplayed any relation you two had to each other, which is a common manipulation tactic. This is never excusable and I would deny this application on the merit of that alone. If you attempt to contact any member of the staff team anywhere but on this forum to discuss your ban, that will factor negatively into future appeals. This is your only warning for this.

3. You have repeatedly attempted to downplay the significance of what you did, you have repeatedly omitted truth or directly lied to staff, and you have obstructed us repeatedly. And every time we threw you a line to redeem yourself, you practically ignored it to keep trying to argue that you weren't doing anything bad. I don't think 10 days is enough to really internalize and drastically shift your behavior.

4. To elaborate on the point above more, you have repeatedly used the term "meet and greet" and clarified it as not being RP. Ok, so what is it? Was it supposed to be an out of character "hey you are cool, wanna be friends" sort of thing? Was it an attempt to downplay Non-ERP RP as being not RP? I cannot think of a charitable interpretation of what you keep saying and I figure you should know this is the case so you stop saying it in this context.

5. Finally, when I consider why I should unban you, I consider the relative utility you provide versus what other people who would be affected by your presence provide. Currently that is heavily unfavorable to you as you do not provide anything specifically to the community that justifies your return. You have, however, provided ample cases against why you should not be allowed to return any time soon. And you have likely, knowingly or unknowingly, driven people away from our community by your actions.

In the interest of fairness, I will accept an appeal in 2 years from today if you can convince me in that appeal that you've grown as a person and this will never be an issue again. And I will consider an appeal of this type earlier if and only if it is paired with an endorsement from another ERP/Kink server's staff team for several months of active playtime with no incidents or even outright positive behavior. I will not accept an appeal that does not meet both of these conditions.

If you have any questions or requests for clarification as to the nature of your ban or its appeal, you may make them below.