[Demi and VerySoft] John.Wayne9392 Discord and Server Ban

[Mech__Warrior]

Byond account and character name:John.Wayne9392 ; Harmony Pretchl
Discord ID (if applicable): Mech__Warrior#3221
Banning admin:VerySoft and Demi
Ban type (What are you banned from?): EG; Server and Discord.
Ban reason given:Banned by host: Reason: You, or another user of this computer or connection (johnwayne9392) is banned from playing here. The ban reason is: (MANUAL_BAN) Years of repeat issues. Repeatedly making other players uncomfortable to the point of leaving the game with unending requests to climb into female characters#39 wombs. Repeatedly making other users int he community so uncomfortable they either block him or leave the community, by bringing up his personal issues at the drop of a hat (ex. Deaths in the family, mental health issues, mania, etc.) This latest issue came when a user was mentioning they had gotten sick with Covid-19 and found the cough unbearable, to which John posted #14/ Some are fated to die#148, distressing the user. They#146re a fountain of unreasonable takes and comments, and after years of such issues, it is clear they are either unwilling or unable to changed. Likely the latter. Sorry, John, but we#145ve got to put the needs of the community over your own (CUSTOM IP)(CUSTOM CID) This ban was applied by verysoft on 2022-05-14 02:49:46
Ban length: Permanent
Approximate date that the ban was placed (including time zone):2022-05-14 02:49:46 But I left the discord a month earlier.
Your side of the story: As much as I hate to say it, I was in one of the darkest places I've ever been since October 22nd, 2021. I was already drinking every day and then I encountered unimaginable loss and no matter how hard I tried, true therapy always seemed out of reach. I'm not trying to draw sympathy because I continued to try and fill a hole deep in my soul yet no matter how hard I tried, it would never fill. In one of those inebriated nights, I saw the user complain about getting sick with Covid-19 and the things I remember fade in and out; I remember being angry with them, messaging them but I don't remember the conversation. The only thing I remember is that quote; 'Some are fated to die/misfortune'. I wanted to vomit upon seeing it despite having no memory. Being drunk isn't an excuse for what I said, so I have to own it.
Why you think you should be unbanned:d[/b]: I took about nine months to look at and work upon myself. I managed to get my alcohol abuse under control. I've learned my triggers and how to manage them. There were quite a few of my past transgressions I thought were forgiven, but I've done a lot of wrong in the past for attention. I don't need to do that anymore.

[VerySoft]

Being totally honest, I am entirely uninterested in having you back. I will however let the rest of staff consider it and voice their opinions on the matter.

[PontifexMinimus]

I have to agree with VerySoft here, to be entirely frank.

This server is not healthy for you nor are you healthy for the server. I wish you the best with rising above your problems, however.

[Nanaki]

Generally I am neutral on this, as I never really had much in the way of interaction either way. Looking at the appeal itself, it seems like you are focusing way too hard on the straw that broke the camel's back rather than the long patterns of behavior that led up to that point. You will have to look at those and address them as well.

[ResidentCody]

I concur with VerySoft. I do not support lifting your ban, regardless of what justifications you bring to the table.

For one, you were banned specifically because you made multiple other community members severely uncomfortable with your actions over a very extended period. I am not convinced that you and these people would satisfactorily coexist together due to the nature of the prior interactions. Blocking and pretending the involved parties don't exist to each other works to an extent but is not a flawless fix - due to the nature of the discord community and game server, interaction WILL happen and this opens grounds for new discomfort and vectors for grievances to develop. In the event that this did happen, we'd be right back to what this ban is specifically about in the first place.

Secondly, it was made apparent to me on multiple occasions that you personally were frequently experiencing mental health issues either caused by or aggravated by community and/or server interactions. Put simply, I don't believe this is a good place for you to spend your time. No matter how much you say you've worked on yourself over nine months, I sincerely believe you are better off not being here for your own benefit. If you truly have improved yourself through time away, I would suggest staying away from the factors that led you to so much mental distress in the first place. It doesn't make sense for someone who spent too much time at the casino to be forcibly evicted from the establishment, spend a year getting help for a gambling addiction, then once it's all under control decide to celebrate with a trip back to the casino. The analogy isn't perfect, but I hope the point comes across.

[Scree]

Iunno man, you took a long break and when you came back you seemed to get mad a lot about how people didn't remember you from your glory days of being robust and such. I'm not sure coming back isn't going to just make you get mad again.

[Enzo Leon]

I do not give support to the appeal either.

[biggs]

The more and more I hear you mentioned in passing, the more I've heard statements that were at best "Oh. Them.", and for your own sake, I'm sparing the specifics on the worst. The inciting incident was very bad, but even if there were no worry it would ever happen again, there's many more concerns.

Your behavior well before your period of drinking was notorious, and I myself have direct personal evidence of this, even as someone who never had to worry about you soliciting crawling into my womb, due to being a male character. We interacted twice, both for the merc event of old, due to both being infiltrator roles. Our interactions were entirely based around that and casual, and we had no other rapport other than that. Despite this, a month and a half later when you had some sort of episode and briefly left Virgo, you decided I was an appropriate person to, bluntly. Trauma dump on. I listened, and I do and did care, but it was a rather unexpected gut punch to get from someone I in effect did not know. If memory serves this happened a few more times from there, and some more casual cordial interactions. I do believe you were trying to be friends, but opening with something so uncomfortable certainly sabotaged any potential that had.

And this does make me worry how the people who could provide you what you truly wanted from them comfort wise via your roleplay would feel. Be it directly or indirectly, this willingness to invoke such uncomfortable things so quickly can't reasonably all be blamed on alcohol with the breadth of unpleasant stories I've heard. I would not be willing to expose our players to such an uncomfortable influence. And I will not simply accept "alcohol caused all the many years of problems and bad stories" as a reason to forget everything. Nor do I think the people who would be uncomfortable at your return would, or should have to.

Plus, you very obviously had very unhealthy relationships with this place. Even if I didn't have all of those other concerns, I don't think I'd be comfortable exposing you to something I don't think you can interact with in a healthy manner, either. So, sorry. But a very big no from me.

[Etheo]

I've personally been subjected to the unsolicited demands for unbirthing RP, and have actually quit the round over it in the past.
Your behavior made me, of all people, uncomfortable enough to want to go touch grass. On top of that, the additional details about you using the game and players as an outlet for your irl issues, going as far as to try and use IC psychologists as a source for you to vent your own psychological issues- I think virgo is not a healthy place for you, and I think you are not a healthy addition to the community.

I might feel different about this in the future if you seek proper psychological assistance for the issues you're working through, but right now does not feel like the time.

[TankTheBirb]

I am going to attempt to be as emotionless in this as possible to remain productive and professional in this response. My summary is that I do not find this appeal acceptable to justify you being unbanned, I do not think you understand why you were banned in the first place, and I do not think you belong in this community at all.

I am a new member of staff, but I have interacted with your character before and I have ensured I had an accurate and complete understanding of your history on this server. Your appeal specifically only mentions the incident that led to you getting banned. You do not mention how you've improved in any of the other points made clear as additional reasons why you were banned. This alone would be enough to justify not unbanning you as you have not addressed the multiple reasons of why you were banned with this appeal.

You were banned because you lacked the understanding of empathy and awareness towards others. This has been displayed through multiple incidents in your time as a player, and you have not demonstrated any understanding that this behavior must change. Supplementary to this, you have repeatedly attempted to emotionally manipulate others through trauma dumping. Explicitly saying that your situation of substance abuse is not an excuse does not make it any less of an attempt to garner sympathy through pity for a favorable outcome. Your ban appeal entirely hinges upon the argument that substance abuse was the root cause of your issues, without it, you have not made an appeal, you have made a blatant attempt at emotional manipulation. This is entirely unacceptable behavior for any person, in any context.

I do not think you belong in this community and I do not support your return. The victims of your actions are active, pleasant, and well loved members of this community. They still exist as a part of this server, they enjoy this server, and they contribute to it positively. On the principle of positive contribution to the community alone, their contributions vastly outweigh any potential ones you have to offer. I cannot speak for the victims and I will not speak for them, but you should never assume forgiveness until it has been explicitly given. Based on information provided to me about your life from your numerous instances of trauma dumping, it is not productive for you to exist on this server. We are not your therapist. We are not a substitute for professional help. And it is actively detrimental to your health to be here, making it a mercy for you to remain banned.

For these and other reasons I have elected not to say to maintain a professional appearance, I do not think you should be unbanned. I hope your path in life leads you to changing to become a better person, and that this is your wake up call to the need for that change.