[verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

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[verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby kinkylilpuppu » Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:52 am

Byond account and character name: pithysteak Sasha Trekal
Discord ID (if applicable): kinkylilsergal#1137
Banning admin: verysoft
Ban type (What are you banned from?): Server ban I think
Ban reason given: Validhunting apparently and "throwing a tantrum" in ahelp when I tried to relay some information.
Ban length: 4 day
Approximate date that the ban was placed (including time zone): 1:40~ September 19, GMT-7
Your side of the story: I encountered a pred event in maint, of which at the time I didn't realize were a thing. I've been playing for the better part of two years and never encountered these before. It was a very large mantis, and when I returned upon it, it was capturing another player. I didnt realize the intent was apparently RP heavy, or erp heavy. So naturally I treated it very IC, and like I had any other event in the past two years. Like carp events and whatnot, signalling that I had saved the other player and was now asking for help to kill it because I was under the assumption that was the normal precaution. I then got a PM from what I assumed was an upset event master over ruining their RP.
I approached the situation very haphazardly I'll admit, but the message to me seemed rather insult-y-ish. I tried to relay that I didnt appreciate being told I was trying to ruin a scene or validhunt, and explain that I didn't understand that was the intent. They told me to ultimately realize they were just there for erp or whatnot. Of which I was trying to explain I didnt understand.
Soon after they told me there was nowhere to go with this. I think assumed I was trying to make it personal or argue relentlessly and banned me.
I made a complaint and had a third party review to discuss with, where they revealed that I was being abrasive. And explained the mechanics of pred events and ahelp.
That being said, in the inital encounter with verysoft. Neither of seemingly understood what points we were trying to get across, nor the tone/intent.
Why you think you should be unbanned: I genuinely think it was just a miscommunication type thing, I feel like the whole thing could of been handled better on both ends. But mostly taking the time to further explain the nature of the situation, rather than giving up and throwing the towel in leaving me very confused with exactly what had happened. I understand that pred-events are just a shelved mechanic and or actually exist, and that the type of moderation here isnt the same as what ive widely been used to (being the gm or admin doesnt handle their own problems). I also understand that I can come off as abrasive or unintentionally rude, of which I'm always trying to look for ways to remedy. I feel like hefty assumptions were made on both ends, and it could of been solved had either I, or perhaps they understood eachother a little better.
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Re: [verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby kinkylilpuppu » Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:55 am

Although I'm fluent in it, english is infact a second language. If theres anything in here I need to re-write or doesnt make sense. I'm happy to rewrite or clear it up on any time.
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Re: [verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby kinkylilpuppu » Sun Sep 19, 2021 4:39 am

"I understand that pred-events are just a shelved mechanic and or actually exist,"
- I meant to say arent just a shelved mechanic.
I don't know if an edit button exists. Sorry for the spam! :<
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Re: [verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby JoanRisu » Sun Sep 19, 2021 5:59 pm

I really feel I should point out two things:
(being the gm or admin doesnt handle their own problems)

I'm not sure what this means, but the way you wrote it makes it sound like a passive-aggressive prod at the admin, which I don't want to assume was the intent. I want to assume is that you're trying to say that the admin was handling an issue that directly involved them or that they were a participant in the situation that has the issue. We have a policy that admins cannot handle their own tickets or issues, and in this case, the admin responding to this issue was not involved with the situation at all.

That out of the way:
Regardless of intentions or awareness, there was a problem with your behavior. The responding admin attempted to steer you away from doing said behavior. I recognize that being told you are in the wrong was frustrating to hear. Frustration does not excuse the reply received. You called them "homeboy" as though you were talking to another player instead of an admin. That admin was within their right to give you a warning that you should avoid whatever problem you were exhibiting for future interactions. Your reply was immature and did not demonstrate any effort to understand the initial problem, nor was it apologetic to your fellow players.

You are on a role-playing server that involves people with varying ranges of what they are willing to tolerate, and admins are there to tell you when you need to adjust or adapt your behavior for this station.

That's my two cents. It's up to all the parties involved to take it under advisement or not.
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Re: [verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby kinkylilpuppu » Sun Sep 19, 2021 6:44 pm

"the admin responding to this issue was not involved with the situation at all." That's exactly what I meant! Sorry if It was confusing at all. My point being it was a system I wasnt familiar with. And approached it, granted in the wrong direction but out of defense because of an assumption made on my end.

"I recognize that being told you are in the wrong was frustrating to hear."
I wouldnt say I was frustrated by being told I was wrong, I just didn't understand the nature of the message. For all intensive purposes I thought it was a GM's event, and they were upset with me for interrupting something that happened in a way I thought was normal. I responded with defensiveness and frustration sure, but I think I had some misconception construed within my reply.

"Your reply was immature and did not demonstrate any effort to understand the initial problem"
I'll admit that I wasnt apologetic at the moment, as I was trying to make it clear that I didnt understand the whole "just there for the rp" thing. And was trying to clarify that's what I didn't get.

All and all, sure I was incredibly defensive; and quick to jump to the idea that "Someones upset because I stepped on their toes during an GM Event; even though I was following what I thought was normal." (Of which I understand now was far from the nature of what was happening.) And I am apologetic towards the moderator for a quickly defensive response.

But from my perspective it was less of a warning and an immedient ban when I responded; i understand within full view that's their right, to dismiss the situation if need be. But the point I'm trying to get across was I wasnt /trying/ to be abhorrently combative, I was immediately worried I perceived my inquiry wrong and that was confirmed later in a discussion in discord.

"That's my two cents. It's up to all the parties involved to take it under advisement or not."
Advisement atleast on my part is much, much appreciated, especially on this. Regardless if I get unbanned or not I'm more or less trying to achieve clarification and "self progress" or- something akin.
If that makes sense, I'm trying to use this to identify how I can come off as rude, negligent or apparently in the form of this situation, making things personal. I'm saddened to hear that it did not seem like I was trying to understand the initial problem; as that was the entire reasoning for my response but after meditating on it over the night of obsessively checking the logs and this appeal I understand wholeheartedly where that child-like theme comes from.

On a completely separate note, I don't understand what's wrong with the homeboy thing? I knew they were an admin, (or what i thought was a gm). Is it inherently offensive? I was told it made things personal, although I personally don't quite understand. Regardless I think I'll be retiring it from my vocabulary. As a disclaimer considering my wide use of it over these past couple years im incredibly sorry if its an uncomfortable term to use. I just acquainted it to the likes of hun, etc.

Thank you!
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Re: [verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby JoanRisu » Mon Sep 20, 2021 12:25 am

It isn't inherently offensive, the setting in which it was used is what made it inappropriate. For example, using it while talking to an admin when they are acting in an official capacity.

Homeboy is used in casual interactions or in interactions where two people are familiar with each other to the point that formality is an afterthought. When used at a time where more formal language is required, it comes off as disrespectful. "Hon" or "Honey" is the same, it can be taken as very rude and overfamiliar to a person trying to communicate important information to you. I'm not telling you that you cannot use it, rather I'm telling you that there is a time and place for casual words like that and a formal admin ticket was not the time for it.
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Re: [verysoft] pithysteak - valid hunt

Postby kinkylilpuppu » Wed Sep 22, 2021 6:12 pm

Would it be possible to get this thread locked, or such.
The ban has been lifted.
Thanks!
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