THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITION

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THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITION

Postby Mr_Signmeup » Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:08 am

AN INTRODUCTION

Welcome to the BEST worst department there is on the station! Today, I will be going through my interpretation of EVERY regulation that is on the VORE wiki page! Here's the link so you can follow along as well! https://wiki.vore-station.net/Corporate_Regulations

HOWEVER, before we can get to that fun stuff about legality shit, we gotta first define corporate regulations!

Wikipedia states that it 'is the body of law that applies to the rights, relations, and conduct of persons, companies, organizations and businesses.' So, basically how the inner workings of the corporation works! Idunno. There has to be some rules and regulations to ensure things go smoothly and a guideline on how to be appropriate in the workplace! or else people will just be doing whatever the fuck they want and we can't have that can we?

Please note that this guide is half serious and half silly! I'm trying to make this as entertaining and educational as possible! I'm also not going to go over EVERYTHING as some things are pretty self-explanatory and don't require an in depth explanation on what it means.

CHAPTER ONE: THE PROLOGUE

As you read the first few lines, you'll notice something interesting!

It's important to remember that while the regulations on their own are mostly a suggestion, you are expected to follow them as a guideline.


Oh god, no! The rules that keep our characters in line are not actually set in stone?! Madness! Chaos! Hide your children! NO IDIOT IT JUST MEANS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER THE OTHER PERSON OUTSIDE OF THE CHARACTER!

For example, you are not required to give a sentence if the problem can be resolved in alternative way


If you ever wandered around in the brig, you find a mop and a mop bucket just waiting to be used inside the bathroom! Get that criminal scum to truly mop out the scumminess by getting them to clean up instead of putting them into the naughty corner! MAKE THEM USEFUL IF THEY COMMITTED A MINOR INFRACTION AND AREN'T BEING A FUCKING CUNT! FIVE MINUTES CLEANING THE BATHROOM IS BETTER THAN FIVE MINUTES ALT-TABBED WATCHING YOUTUBE! IT COULD LEAD TO POTENTIALS SCENES AS WELL WHICH IS WHAT WE'RE ALL hopefully HERE FOR!

CHAPTER TWO: READING BETWEEN THE LINES

For certain crimes, the accused party's intent is important.


Why did X do that to Y? Well, that could be pretty hard to find out initially but with 'clever' investigation work you should be able to find it out! Or X made it so gosh darn obvious why they attacked Y. USUALLY, the general rule is between assault and murder is that murder has to have some form of premeditation usually, reading through communication logs from Telecommunications or PDA logs may give you some form of insight into the motive of murder. Or, if you're paying attention to the radio and someone yells out "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU Y" and promptly starts attacking said person. The threat is evidence that X was intending to murder Y, so be sure to apply that attempted murder charge!

Likewise, 'assault with a deadly weapon' and 'assaulting an officer' are also crimes that exclude others.


WTF WHY CAN'T I FIND THIS REGULATION?! Cause, it's under the same law, you troglobite! HOWEVER, I will explain that 'in-depth' when I arrive to those regulations, so let's move on.

If the crime has a victim involved who chooses not to press charges specific to them, security may not decide to press charges anyway.


So, if for some strange reason someone wishes to not press charges over someone slapping them across the chops, it is recommend that you respect that wish. HOWEVER, you can warn X who bapped Y that any further fighting will result in them getting slapped with Reg 105, disturbing the peace, for being a lil' shit. Unless, the fighting is serious, then fucking slap that motherfuckin' 105 charge on that bitch. and on Y for partaking in the fight as well.

Note, the victim must choose this option. A murder victim cannot voice their choice and therefore cannot choose to drop charges.


Well, duh, cause that fucker be dead as shit! Unless they get resleeved. IN ANY CASE, just remember that
Victims suffering from non-contiguous memory disorder may be unreliable witnesses


SO DO NOT GO OFF THEIR TESTIMONY TO CHUCK SOMEONE IN THE BRIG YOU CUNT! QUESTION PEOPLE, GET A DETECTIVE TO CHECK THE SCENE AND GET FUCKING EVIDENCE! THIS IS A REMINDER THAT A SINGLE PERSON'S TESTIMONY SHOULD NOT BE ENOUGH TO GET SOMEONE THROWN IN THE BRIG UNLESS IT IS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT X DID THE CRIME!

However, also be aware that:
Note that not all killings are murder. if the victim is resleeved and testifies that it was willing, or the accused testifies that it was willing and there is no evidence to the contrary


If you do not have evidence to ACCUSE X of murdering Y. Why the fuck are you accusing them in the first place, ya dumbass?

Aiding a criminal makes you an accomplice; you can be charged with the same crime as the person you aided.


IF SOMEONE IS PREVENTING YOU FROM ARRESTING A LEGITIMATE CRIMINAL, LIKE SEVERELY HINDERING YOU, FUCKING SLAP THE SAME CHARGES THAT THE GUY YOU'RE attempting to arrest ARRESTING IS FACING! SO A LIL TIP TO ALL THOSE WHITE KNIGHTS, THINK BEFORE YOU ACT OR YOU MIGHT BE SPENDING TIME IN A CELL FOR DEFENDING THE WRONG PERSON!

The Colony Director is not above Corporate Regulations, and can be arrested by Security for breaking it.


OH SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!
Yes, you heard right, the Colony Director can be arrested by a petty security officer for breaking regulations! NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW ON THE STATION! ANYONE TELLING YOU OTHERWISE IS A FUCKING LIAR! Of course, you better ensure the Head of Security or another Head of Staff know that the Director fucked up BEFORE arresting them or else you could be spending time in a cell being charged with sedation!

If you can't find the incident listed in here you can set up a tribunal.


This is for people that somehow fucked up so badly that it isn't even written in the goddamn books! Be sure you explain to the Heads of Staff what the fuck exactly happened and why the guy is sitting in a cell with cuffs on waiting for the tribunal to past judgement.

CHAPTER THREE: MINOR INFRACTIONS

'Additional Penalties' can be decided by authorization of Colony Director, Head of Security, or equivalent (if no HoS or Director are present, then a vote of heads of staff is sufficient. Failing that, the warden. Otherwise, contact Central Command), and do not require tribunals.


Your superior can grant these penalties when requested depending on the severity of the crime or the guy is being a complete dropkick. You as an officer, do not have the authority to apply these additional penalties, so best speak with your boss about getting them added on!

At the officer's discretion, they may offer community service in place of the sentences below.

HOLY SHIT HERE'S WHERE MOPPING THE BATHROOM COMES IN! So, listen, here's the dealio with this. If someone was a complete dickhead and wrote 'Sec sux dik' in the fucking corridor, don't chuck him in a cell and call the janitor. MAKE HIM THE JANITOR FOR THE FIVE MINUTES AND GET HIM TO CLEAN THAT SHIT UP OR FACE PAYING FOUR-HUNDRED AND FIFTY THALERS OR STARING AT A WALL! FUCK, CLEANING IT UP WILL JUST TAKE THIRTY SECONDS, A MUCH BETTER DEAL! OFFER THAT CHANCE SO YOU DON'T SPEND FIVE MINUTES WITH A THUMB UP YOUR BACKSIDE WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THAT TIMER TO TICK DOWN!

Right, with that out of the way. Let's go through minor infractions!

REGULATION 101 - TRESPASSING
Self-fucking explanatory! Someone is not where they're suppose to be and nobody let them in? Escort them out. If the bartender asks someone to leave but they refuse to leave. Escort them out and into a cell If some dickhead is occupying the medical bay lobby for no good reason and a doctor has requested them to move along, THATS TRESPASSING EVEN IF THE PUBLIC CAN ACCESS IT! If they kick up a ruckus while being escorted out, you can adjust the sentence. FUN FACT: DID YOU KNOW THAT THE 'MAIN' SENTENCE YOU GIVE SOMEONE IS CALLED THE 'SUGGESTED SENTENCE?' YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FOLLOW THAT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO, YOU COULD KEEP SOMEONE IN THERE FOR FIVE BLOODY MINUTES DUE TO THEIR UNREASONABLE ACTIONS FOR A TWO MINUTE CRIME IF YOU WANT TO!

REGULATION 102 - PETTY THEFT

Again, self explanatory but with a few other things. Some guy is walking around in their department's hardsuit while off duty? Tell 'em to put it back cause it is considered petty theft if you continue to wear equipment that you no longer require at the present time. OF COURSE BE FUCKING REASONABLE, DON'T GO WAVING THIS REGULATION AROUND ALL WILLY FUCKING NILLY! Petty theft is usually for items that can be easily obtained again by going to your department or a locker room... but the person still technically 'stole' something.

REGULATION 103 - MINOR ASSAULT
Starting to notice a pattern here about self-explanatory regulations? JUST REMEMBER THAT EVEN THREATS CAN BE CONSIDERED MINOR ASSAULT, SO MAKING A VIOLENT GESTURE TOWARDS SOMEONE OR THREATENING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT SOMEONE UP IS STILL CLASSIFIED AS MINOR ASSAULT EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T PUNCH EM!

REGULATION 104 - BATTERY
This is for people who can't keep their FUCKING HANDS TO THEMSELVES, STOP FUCKING HUGGING ME YOU CUNTS! People who enjoy grabbing others 4 no raisins or excessive hugging despite people telling 'em to STAHP! Also for those dickheads that attempt to use the disarm verb to push people over. FOR THE LOLZ!

REGULATION 105 - DISTURBING THE PEACE


THE MAIN CHARGE PEOPLE WILL MOST LIKELY BE FACING! We all know this charge, we all understand what it is used for. When someone's is being an absolute twat. I think that's pretty self-explanatory on WHEN you should whack this charge onto someone. UNLESS YOU CAN'T THINK OUTSIDE THE GODDAMN BOX AND NEED IT SPOON-FED TO YOU!

POPPING OFF A DISRUPTION GRENADE IN THE BAR ALSO COUNTS

REGULATION 106 - SUSPICIOUS CONDUCT


Yes, it is suspicious to be running around with a face-obscuring mask you dumb twat, where else isn't? You try walking into a goddamn business/store with a gas mask on and tell me you didn't get tackled by fucking security or the police rocking up on reports that there is an individual walking about with a gas mask on. SPEAKING OF WHICH, suspicious conduct is mostly an IC regulation to assist in stomping on metagaming/powergaming antics. So, if you see someone doing that, best alert the admin team as well with an ahelp. Pls. Ahelping is your friend. Pls do it. Pls. OF COURSE, sometimes you have to be reasonable when it comes to a role working another role. Like, it states here that
a xenobiologist working in robotics without the RD's knowing,

RD, what's that? HAHA! BUT SERIOUSLY, you should only be suspicious if it is, for example, a librarian performing NIF implant surgery or the janitor tending to Xenoflora and creating freaky plants. A paramedic doing chemistry or a roboticist doing xenobiology is a stupid thing to get worked up over on this server!

REGULATION 107 - ABUSE OF PUBLIC RADIO CHANNELS


The regulation we want to CHARGE EVERYONE WITH, HOLY FUCK, CAN YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP?! This is for people who are being exceptionally annoying on public communications, consisting 'Awooing' after being told to shut up or making obscene sexual remarks or innuendos towards crew members or screaming "FUCK YOU CENTRAL" consistently after an announcement see regulation 105 about screaming how bad Nanotrasen is in general. THERE IS NO REGULATION STATING THAT YOU MUST ONLY SPEAK COMMON OVER THE COMMON CHANNEL, however it SHOULD BE considered impolite in my opinion, have some respect for other characters towards other crew members if you're going 'Cheep chirp chip chip' into the fucking microphone and nobody else has a goddamn clue what you're saying and you're going on and on and FUCKING ON, JESUS SHUT UP! GOD! Then, yes, you'll slap this charge on them if they CONTINUE TO DO IT AFTER A WARNING!

Seriously, imagine yourself at work, having to wear a headset in your ear and hearing people ramble on about stuff that A. Doesn't concern you and B. Should've been said face to face or through a more private channel such as PDA, communicator or FACE TO FACE!

REGULATION 108 - VIOLATION OF INJUNCTION

So, you just told some fuck-nugget a few minutes ago along with a copy of a piece of paper that has the HoS' signature and stamp on it telling him he can't use the fucking radio anymore cause nobody wants to hear his annoying ass voice shitting down your goddamn ear canal. WELL GUESS WHAT HE STILL FUCKING TALKING DRIBBLE OVER THE GODDAMN RADIO So, this is what you'll charge him with.

JUST A REMINDER THAT AN INJUNCTION CAN LITERALLY BE ANYTHING. It can be a restraining order, a ban on working, a ban on using headsets, a ban on using certain type of equipment, driving mechs, etc. LITERALLY ANYTHING! except for stuff that keeps a person alive. You can't write an injunction banning someone from breathing, idiot.

REGULATION 109 - INSULTING AN OFFICER ON DUTY
CAPTAIN IS A FUCKING CONDOM! FUCKING SHITCURITY OFFICER! With no respect what so ever, Officer. You're a MOTHERFUCKING DICKSUCKING CUUUUNT!

This charge is for people who get right up into your fucking face and spit all over it as they let their insults dribble onto your face. NOW IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK AND YOU DIDN'T BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THEM WITH YOUR BATON, you can whack this charge on them instead if they don't stop their tirade after a warning. YES, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, SOME REGULATIONS REQUIRE YOU TO WARN PEOPLE BEFORE YOU SLAP THEM WITH THE CHARGE!

REGULATION 110 - SLANDER

X JUST ATE AND DIGESTED Y!

No, they didn't, dickhead. They're right there with Y enjoying a drink in the bar. THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL CHARGE PEOPLE WHO ARE SPREADING LIES THAT MAY/WILL DESTORY SOMEONE'S REPUTATION OR MAY GET THEM ARRESTED ON FALSE CHARGES!

CONTINUES ONTO THE NEXT POST! WILL BREAK IT UP BY EVERY TEN REGULATIONS TO GIVE ME A BREAK FROM WRITING THIS AMAZING shit GUIDE!
Last edited by Mr_Signmeup on Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITIO

Postby Mr_Signmeup » Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:01 am

BEFORE I CONTINUE, JUST A REMINDER THAT THIS GUIDE IS MY OWN OPINION! THIS IS HOW I SEE REGULATIONS with less swearing, caps and being a smartarse

REGULATION 111 - FAILURE TO EXECUTE AN ORDER


Oi, X, can you do this thing that is in your job description? Seeing that you here at the moment.

No, fuck you.

Now, X, as your superior, I gave you an order. It's in your job-...

NO, FUCK YOU, I'M GOING TO RUN OFF AND NOT EVEN COME INTO THE DEPARTMENT ANYMORE! *runs off*

...Security?

THIS WILL MOSTLY BE PRESSED BY HEADS OF STAFF WHO ARE JUST FUCKING SICK OF SOME DICKHEAD NOT EVEN LISTENING TO THEM! THE USUAL CULPRITS ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU IN A WORKPLACE see underage or people that have just gotten out of high school or rich parents OR JUST CHARACTERS BEING UNNECESSARILY HOSTILE TOWARDS THEIR SUPERIOR! REMEMBER, THIS IS YOUR CHARACTER'S JOB! DON'T BE A DICKHEAD TO YOUR SUPERIOR UNLESS THERE'S A GOOD FUCKING REASON TO BE! THEY CAN FUCKING DUMP YOU LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES OVER A BRIDGE IF YOU'RE BEING AN OVERLY AGGRESSIVE CUNT-BAG! see server rules and global rule 6

Sources:
REGULATION 112 - SEXUAL HARRASSMENT

Another obvious one! Someone is being too touchy touchy with someone's special areas or someone wishes to press sexual harrassment charges against someone who said a rather naughty thing about their vagina over the public channel! RARELY WILL YOU HAVE TO PRESS THIS CHARGE BECAUSE EVERYONE ON THE STATION ARE PERVERTS AND TOLERATE THIS KIND OF SEXUAL ADVANCES! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO THIS IRL!

REGULATION 113 - ANIMAL ABUSE


STOP EATING THE KOI YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! This charge is for dickheads who think 'simple mobs = I can kill cause not a player'. NO, YOU DAFT CUNT! You still have to be a REASONABLE SANE FELLOW WHEN DEALING WITH ANIMALS! So, spit that poisonous koi out of your goddamn greedy bottomless hole you call a mouth and PAY A-FUCKING-TTENTION! No, you can't smash a monkey's head in with a crowbar. No, you can't dismember a monkey in the middle of the goddamn bar. No, you can't kick Ian up the arse cause he kept running into you while you tried to work. NO YOU CAN'T ORDER A SHIT TON OF BIRDS, SET THEM FREE IN THE BAR AND PUNT THEM ABOUT LIKE FOOTBALLS, DICKHEAD! STOP ABUSING ANIMALS BEFORE I ABUSE YOU WITH A BATON! If you see an animal that is not causing any harm in public. for example, passive space carp enjoying a nice swim in the atrium pond. LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE, ASSWIPE! Now, you may ask. "W-what do you mean I can't bash a monkey's head in with a crowbar and let that bloody, gooey mess spray over me like the fucking psychopath I am? It's just a non-sentient animal!" DING DING DING You just answered your own goddamn question, shithead. Remember the server rules?
Play a reasonably sane and mature character.
Would a reasonably sane and mature character smash a monkey's head into a bloody pulp and smear its brains all over the floor? TRICK QUESTION, THE ANSWER IS NO!

REGULATION 114 - VANDALISM

'Sec iz dum' is drawn in red crayon in the security lobby, OH MOTHERFUCKER!

This regulation is for DICKHEADS that think breaking shit or writing DUMB ASS TUMBLR POSTS on the floor in crayon. Go tearing down a wall in the public hallway for no real reason but just because? WELL, YOU EITHER REBUILD THAT SHIT OR STARE AT A CELL WALL FOR FIVE MINUTES,TAKE YOUR FUCKING PICK, CUNT!

WHAT THE FUCK WHO THE FUCK IS LEAVING ALL THESE FUCKING WRAPPERS ABOUT THE STATION MAKING IT LOOK LIKE A RIGHT MESS?! Oh, this fat fucking space whale over here cramming that last bit of fucking bread tube down his drool-stained chatterbox he calls a FUCKING MOUTH! Oh, yeah, mate, you'll start groaning alright when I roll your FAT FUCKING ASS TO A GODDAMN CELL! PICK UP YOUR LITTER OR ILL GET AN ENGINEER TO BUILD A CRANE TO HAUL YOUR FAT ASS UP SEVERAL FLIGHTS OF STAIRS INTO A CELL! Yes, if you haven't realised, you can charge excessive litterers with VANDALISM. Keep the station beautiful, guys! BY NOT POPPING OFF MONKEY BLOOD GRENADES IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY YOU FUCKS!

REGULATION 115 - THREAT OF MURDER OR SERIOUS INJURY'

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"
or "I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE YOUR MOTHER WON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU!" are examples of threats of serious concern. If you hear someone sprouting this shit over public comms, better locate them and see if you can't prevent a fight. If the victim doesn't want to press charges specifically for the threat... CHARGE THE FUCKER WHOSE SPROUTING THOSE THREATS WITH DISTURBING THE PEACE! REMEMBER THIS IS A GODDAMN WORKPLACE AND YOU JUST BROADCASTED A THREAT OVER A RADIO THAT SIXTY PEOPLE ARE LISTENING TO! ONCE AGAIN REFERRING TO A SPECIFIC RULE OF THE SERVER

Play a reasonably sane and mature character.


Do reasonably sane and mature characters publically issue threats of bodily harm/death to people? NO!

REGULATION 116 - DISRESPECT TO THE DEAD

The chef using bodies.
OH FUCK NO WAY! Cooking people is illegal?! WHO FUCKING KNEW!

Officers beating off on corpses of deceased criminals and surgeons deciding to use a corpse to perform experimental surgery to see if it is possible to graph the penis to the forehead so that people can finally experience what it is like to have your 'horn' on your forehead is also very disrespectful

IT IS ALSO DISRESPECTFUL TO LOOT CORPSES! DON'T FUCKING DO IT CUNT OR YOU'LL SPEND SOME TIME IN A GODDAMN CELL! LEARN TO RESPECT THE RECENTLY DEPARTED! JUST BECAUSE THE CORPSE HAS A NICE HAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN HAVE IT!

Oh and preventing the deceased from being cyborgified or resleeved is also in violation. LIKE RUNNING OFF WITH THE CORPSE!

REGULATION 117 - EXCESSIVE USE OF FORCE IN DETAINMENT

STOP RESISTING STOP RESISTING

I'M NOT, I'M PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN BECAUSE YOU SMASHED THAT BATON INTO MY SPINAL CORD!

STOP RESISTING! *applies baton*

Yeah, so rules of thumb my pretty lil' officers. When you see 'slumps down, unable to continue fighting' or whatever the fucking message is when someone is stunned from pain. STOP FUCKING TASERING OR STUNNING OR FLASHING OR WHATEVER! They're down and won't be able to resist for a good chunk of time, slap those FUCKING CUFFS ON THEM!

If someone is willing to come with you and is complying with your orders, YOU SHOULDN'T FUCKING SMASH THEM INTO THE GODDAMN GROUND AND DISLOCATE THEIR GODDAMN SHOULDER, YOU MANIAC! DO NOT USE FORCE IF THEY'RE NOT RESISTING PHYSICALLY! Someone can yell and carry on all fucking day but if you can get them into handcuffs without a fucking hassle, you shouldn't need to deploy your goddamn baton.

Oh, yeah. If you deploy a lethal weapon in a situation that doesn't require it. IE, pointing a laser carbine at someone to force them to comply during a code green. WHY YOU HAVE A LASER CARBINE ON CODE GREEN IS BEYOND ME BUT IT IS THE ONLY EXAMPLE I COULD THINK OF!

REGULATION 118 - Minor Contraband
OH BOY HERE WE GO, CONTRAAABAAAAND!

Now, this is what a lot of people get confused about. So, let's be serious for a moment and break it down.

Having a non-lethal weapon you're not normally allowed without any sort of permit counts for this.


Tasers, stun revolvers, pepperspray, flash, flashbang, batons. ANYTHING THAT IS CAPABLE OF INFLICTING 'AGONY/HALLOS' DAMAGE FALLS UNDERNEATH THIS!


Violations of any such permits


SO FOR EXAMPLE, if someone has a permit for a taser and they use it to commit a crime. THE PERMIT IS REVOKED AND THE TASER BECOMES MINOR CONTRABAND!
Another example is the bartender taking his shotgun OUTSIDE OF THE BAR INTO THE PUBLIC CORRIDORS! He can lug that thing around on his back all goddamn shift if they so choose but the moment it leaves the bar, it is contraband!

For drug charges, this applies if they do not show any intent to distribute

SO BASICALLY IF SOMEONE JUST HAS A SMALL BOTTLE OF HAPPY PILLS ON THEM, THATS MINOR CONTRABAND!
BUUUT, MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MEDICATIONS ON THEM UNLESS THEY'RE PART OF THE MEDICAL DEPARTMENT OR HAVE A DAMN PRESCRIPTION WRITTEN OUT FOR THEM BY A DOCTOR! YES THIS INCLUDES TRAMADOL!

PARACETAMOL NOT SO MUCH SINCE YOU CAN BUY IT OFF THE SHELVES WITHOUT A PRESCIPTION. TRAMADOL IS A POWERFUL PAINKILLER THOUGH, SO IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION FROM THEM, YOU'LL GET DONE IN! WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND THEM IN THE TRAAASH?!


This also includes chameleon items,


You hear that, Research? DON'T FUCKING WEAR CHAMELEON ITEMS OUTSIDE OF RESEARCH OR IT WILL BE CONFISCATED BY SECURITY! I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU WANT TO LOOK COOL YOU SPECIAL LITTLE ATTENTION SEEKER SNOWFLAKE, YOU TAKE IT OFF OR I'LL GET AN OFFICER TO ITEM DIGEST YOU TILL YOU'RE NAKED, PRICK! OR I'LL MAKE YOU, IN A CELL!

RULE OF THUMB: IF IT CAN'T CAUSE SERIOUS DAMAGE IMMEDIATELY, IT IS MINOR CONTRABAND!

You can also lob armored vest under minor contraband, though not technically dangerous, there is no reason for anyone else to be wearing it unless they're expecting to be targeted or something.

REGULATION 119 - ILLEGAL PARKING

If you really have to leave your goddamn mech in a room that doesn't have a charging port, it even states here
If someone has to exit a vehicle or mech, leave it at the edge of a room or the side of a hallway so as to avoid impeding traffic of other crew.
DON'T PARK IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROOM LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY "YEAH, LOOK HOW BIG MY DICK IS CAUSE I RIDE IN THIS GIANT ASS EXOSUIT, BITCHES!" You'll get that shit impounded in Security. SECURITY, IF THE ASSHOLE HAS DECIDED TO DNA LOCK IT LIKE A CUNT AND THEY REFUSE TO MOVE IT GET IN CONTACT WITH YOUR SUPERIOR OR THE COLONY DIRECTOR! THEY'LL MORE THAN LIKELY ALLOW YOU TO SCRAP THE ENTIRE MECH!

PAY ATTENTION! THIS REGULATION HAS NO BRIG TIME! DO NOT THROW SOMEONE INTO A CELL OVER THIS REGULATION, JUST SCREW WITH THEIR VEHICLE INSTEAD! HIT THE ASSHOLE WHERE IT HURTS, THEIR CAR!

REGULATION 120 - OBSTRUCTION OF DUTY

"B-but they didn't do nuthin'!"

Yeah, they fucking did, asshole. GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY IM TRYING TO DO MY JOB!

This regulation is for the white knights out there who try to protect EVERYONE from Security. Someone breaking several lights, punched some guy in the face and stole a bunch of medical supplies? Expect to hear these knights in your ear screaming "HE DIDNT DO NUTHIN! RELEASE HIM!". Of course, that ain't a breach...

WHAT IS A BREACH IS IF THEY GET IN YOUR FUCKING WAY AND LITERALLY BODY BLOCK YOU FROM GETTING TO YOUR GODDAMN CRIMINAL! IF YOU EVER ENCOUNTER SOMEONE LIKE THAT, JUST FUCKING WHIP YOUR BATON OUT AND PROD THEM! LET'S SCROLL BACK UP AND LOOK AT WHAT I WROTE PREVIOUSLY!

IF SOMEONE IS PREVENTING YOU FROM ARRESTING A LEGITIMATE CRIMINAL, LIKE SEVERELY HINDERING YOU, FUCKING SLAP THE SAME CHARGES THAT THE GUY YOU'RE attempting to arrest ARRESTING IS FACING! SO A LIL TIP TO ALL THOSE WHITE KNIGHTS, THINK BEFORE YOU ACT OR YOU MIGHT BE SPENDING TIME IN A CELL FOR DEFENDING THE WRONG PERSON (IE, your friend)!


I ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION AN IMPORTANT PART! THIS APPLIES TO OTHER JOBS AS WELL! PEOPLE HINDERING ENGINEERING'S EFFORTS TO STOP A GAS LEAK OR PATCHING UP A HULL BREACH! OR SOMEONE DRAGGING A PERSON AWAY THAT IS ALREADY RECEIVING MEDICAL ATTENTION AT THE SCENE! BE AWARE OF OTHER DEPARTMENTS!

CONTINUES ON THE NEXT POST, WHEW! FIVE MORE MINOR INFRACTIONS TO GO!
Last edited by Mr_Signmeup on Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:08 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITIO

Postby Mr_Signmeup » Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:38 am

LAST PART OF MINOR INFRACTIONS, LET'S GO!

REGULATION 121 - RUBBERNECKING

You know those people that rock up to a scene, like a fight or something and just stand there not being useful or not even having a single FUCKING THING TO DO WITH WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Well, this is the regulation for them. As you notice, you can forcibly remove them from the area. Either by grabbing them and dragging them off or whipping out your baton and prodding them several times until they collapse THEN DRAG THEIR WORTHLESS ASS A GOOD DISTANCE AWAY! If they decide to come back to fucking yell at you, you can detain them until the crisis or situation you're stopping people from entering is over! Be sure to inform their head of staff as well of how much of a DICK FACE LOSER they were being for bonus points. The best thing you can do is make their superior aware of their behaviour to just fuck 'em over. Report assistants/visitors to the Head of Personnel.

REGULATION 122 - OPERATING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

If you're fucking stumbling over your goddamn words after having too much alcohol shoved down your greedy gullet. Well, you're too drunk to be handling weaponry, mechs, heavy machinery... just really anything, to be honest. So, you either better get yourself to the nearest bed to sleep and sober up or find yourself in the damn drunk tank. OFFICERS, YOU CARRY DANGEROUS/SENSITIVE EQUIPMENT! IN THIS CASE, GUNS! IF YOU GET DRUNK WHILE WEARING THIS EQUIPMENT, YOU'RE GOING TO END UP IN THAT DRUNK TANK!

REGULATION 123 - VIOLATION OF EMPLOYEE RIGHTS

This will mostly be pressed by your worst enemy. INTERNAL AFFAIRS You best review Standard Operating Procedures on every employees rights but the main gist of it is DO NOT VIOLATE PEOPLE'S PRIVACY ON CODE GREEN, YOU KNOBHEAD! SO, NO SPYING WITH THE SPY KIT, NO HACKING THE CAMERA CONSOLE TO VIEW COMMUNICATOR CAMERAS! ALSO DO NOT FORCE PEOPLE TO DO THEIR JOBS 24/7! THIS REGULATION IS PUT IN PLACE TO STOP PEOPLE FROM SCREECHING ABOUT PEOPLE DISAPPEARING FOR SCENES WHICH MAY I REMIND YOU IS WHAT WE ARE ALL hopefully HERE FOR!

REGULATION 124 - MINOR NEGLIGENCE

Only recently introduced to punish people that do stupid stuff that only 'minorly' set people back or just a general annoyance. Lubing or wetting the floors to cause people to slip could count as this (Disturbing the peace is better IMO now that I think about it.) Janitors not placing out signs, bartenders accidently giving people poisoning from not removing harmful substances from their drinks (IE: Uranium). Crushing micros/normal sized people as you speed through the hallways. WATCH WHERE YOU WALK!

REGULATION 125 - FORGERY

Recently added as well. This is where people attempt to 'fake' being recieved orders to do one thing even though they were not. Basically trying to fake paperwork which not many people do in the first fucking place in order to get something. Like a crate of weapons by faking the CD/HoS signature. FROM MY KNOWLEDGE NO ONE HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH THIS YET! IT IS CAPABLE OF CARGO TO GET STUFF BY ORDERING CONTRABAND/STOLEN PACKAGE CRATES THAT CAN ASSIST IN FORGING STUFF THOUGH!

AND THATS ALL MINOR INFRACTION, TOMORROW I WILL START POSTING OUR FAVOURITE INFRACTIONS 'MEDIUM LEVEL INFRACTIONS' OR I LIKE TO CALL 'EM 'MODERATE' INFRACTIONS! WOO!
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Re: THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITIO

Postby Mr_Signmeup » Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:05 pm

CHAPTER FOUR - MEDIUM STYLE

These Infractions carry standard punishments of up to 30 minutes, though typically around 10-15 minutes, and can be set with an officer's discretion.


OH FUCK, THIS IS WHERE YOU BETTER PULL UP YOUR BIG BOY PANTS! HERE WE GO!

REGULATION 201 - FAILURE TO EXECUTE AN ORDER WITH SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES

X, we got several patients in the OR, we need your help, people are dying!

No, fuck off.

X, we're losing them! WE NEED YOUR HELP!

NO FUCK OFF I'M TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE!

THIS REGULATION IS AGAIN FOR DICKHEADS WHO HAVE NO IDEA THE EXPECTATIONS THAT COMES WITH WORK! BUT THIS TIME WITH SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES LIKE PEOPLE DYING OR MAJOR DAMAGE BEING DONE TO THE STATION OR A TERRORIST MAKING OFF WITH SENSITIVE EQUIPMENT! GOOD JOB DICKHEAD! OH WAIT NOT REALLY, CAUSE YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN DOING YOUR JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE!

REGULATION 202 - RESISTING ARREST OR SPARKING A MANHUNT

Pretty self explanatory. Some cunt refusing to come to the brig even though they did a crime. Running away from the arresting officer, pushing the arresting officer counts as resisting arrest. If you ask someone to come to Security but they don't show up, it doesn't count. IF THEY GO INTO HIDING, THEN IT IS CAUSE NOW YOU GOTTA FIND THEM!

Just a brief heads up, if you need to arrest someone. BE SURE YOU NOTIFY THEM THAT THERE IS A WARRANT OUT FOR THEIR ARREST! I know that seems counter-productive cause you rather surprise them BUT IF THEY ARE AWARE THAT THEY'RE BEING HUNTED BY SEC THEN PROCEED TO CYRO OUT YOU CAN AHELP THEIR BITCH-ASS AND GET THE ADMIN TEAM TO WRING THEIR LIL' NECKS FOR BEING DUMB! And who doesn't love a good cat and mouse chase, eh?

REGULATION 203 - SUICIDE ATTEMPT

CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIN! THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL!

This regulation is for characters who see it fit to kill themselves at their place of work. Like jackasses. IF YOU HAVE TO PUSH THIS CHARGE ONTO SOMEONE, AHELP IT! PEOPLE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO COMMIT/ATTEMPT SUICIDE UNLESS AN ADMIN HAS GIVEN IT THE THUMBS UP! WHICH IS UN-FREAKIN'-LIKELY!

Seriously, though. If you ever encounter a character and they gotta be strapped into a straight jacket. More than likely they'll either be banned. So, what I suggest is let medical review them for a little bit... then discuss with the CMO/HoS/CD about moving them to the solitary confinement cyro pod to get them outta the round. NOBODY WANTS TO WASTE THEIR TIME TREATING YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKE WHOSE SAD ABOUT THE GALAXY! WE'RE A RESEARCH BASE NOT A REHABILITATION CENTRE! That time could be better used in finding scenes, not making sure your character doesn't off themselves IN A UNIVERSE THAT HAS PRACTICALLY CONQUERED DEATH VIA CLONING/CYBORGIFYING/RESLEEVING!

REGULATION 204 - ABUSE OF CONFISCATED EQUIPMENT


Sir, can I keep this butterfly knife that someone handed in?

NO, YOU FUCKING DUNCE!

SECURITY DO NOT EVER, EVER USE CONTRABAND IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES unless you're in research WHAT SO EVER! WHY? CAUSE ITS ILLEGAL AND BEING SECURITY DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY GIVE YOU A FREE FUCKING PASS IN IT! NO, YOU CAN'T KEEP THE VARIOUS KNIVES PEOPLE HAND OVER OR THE PERSONAL TRANSLOCATOR SOMEONE HANDED IN! PRETTY FUCKING SELF-EXPLANATORY!


REGULATION 205 - ILLEGAL DETENTION, ARREST OR HOLDING

Self-explanatory. Falsely arresting someone, holding someone in detention without evidence of any crime. Oh and KIDNAPPING! Yes, this is what you whack on people who gobbles someone up and refuses to let them go when both the person and security want them to.

REGULATION 206 - NEGLIGENCE

Failure to do your FUCKING JOB! A lot of situations can fall under negligence due to mistakes that were honest or dishonest. Most of the time it happens because SOMEONE DIDN'T PAY A-FUCKING-TTENTION TO STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES! More than likely, you may be called to deal with some researchers or engineers being negligence cause a researcher forgot to properly secure an artifact or an engineer deciding that 2+10e of power into the main grid is reasonable and thinks that letting people know about it then blaming the person whose hand gets burnt off is a good idea. NO DICKBAG, YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE THOSE WIRES SOMEWHAT SAFE TO TOUCH WITHOUT KILLING PEOPLE WHO ACCIDENTALLY TOUCH IT! DO YOUR JOB RIIIGHT! YOU HALF-ARSING TOSS-BAG!

REGULATION 207 - INFILTRATION

AI core/upload, Armory, Bridge, EVA, Bluespace Gateway, Head of Staff offices, R&D Server Room, Telecomms, Teleporter room, Telescience, Toxins Storage, Vault, and Virology.


OH SHIT BREAKING INTO YOUR SUPERIOR'S OFFICE IS INFILTRATION?!

No shit, your superior has access to some pretty sensitive gear! HoS has various firearms and weaponry, RD has the AI core modules, bluespace harpoon, CD has station blueprints, HoP has... well, a firearm, I think.

AI core/upload, duh. Changing the AI laws is pretty bad.

Armory, guns, don't want that.

Bridge? Colony Director lives there, so can't have someone trying to murder them.

EVA, expensive space suits, not everyone is trained to wear one!

Bluespace Gateway, it can potentially open up into a hostile world and flood the station with Xenomorphs if some drooling idiot gets his cheeto crumbs all over the portal's control panel. SO MAKE SURE NOBODY UNAUTHORISED GETS INTO THIS AREA!

R&D Server Room houses the research servers, which someone can easily break/purge to ruin research's progress as well as the PDA console, allowing people to impersonate people. Far as I know, only a few heads of staff can access the server room to check the PDA console if the RD has set it up.

Telecommunications, the massive place that houses our ability to talk with one another over the radio. I wonder why access is severely limited? CAUSE OF THE BAD PEOPLE THAT MAY WANT TO SABOTAGE THIS PLACE TO STOP YOU FROM AWOOING!

Telescience, doesn't exist, but could've been used to breach into places if you had a genius at maths help you.

Toxins Storage. WOW GETTING ACCESS TO POISONOUS GASES AND SLEEPING GAS?! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!

Vault. Obvious as shit, if you lot didn't fucking know, that shit houses a lot more than just gold, silver and a gem-encrusted voidsuit. I ain't going to spoil what is hidden inside the depths of those hard-to-crack safes inside the vault but if you see someone in it. YOU BETTER RUN TOWARDS IT, GUNS DRAWN TO PROTECT IT!

Virology. BEING ABLE TO MAKE MY OWN DEADLY VIRUS OR POTENTIALLY RELEASE INFECTED INDIVIDUALS/MONKEYS INTO THE STATION?!

REGULATION 208 - ASSAULT

ANOTHER COMMON CHARGE YOU MAY BE SLAPPING ONTO PEOPLE! This charge is for people that decide to break someone's bones or use a lethal/non-lethal weapon to attack or intimdate someone. Yes, threatening people with a weapon is classed as assault even if you don't use it. ALSO INCLUDES POISONING PEOPLE OR USING HALLUCINOGENS LIKE MINDBREAKER AGAINST PEOPLE! Oh and if you didn't notice the lil addition. USING A CHAMELEON GUN IS CLASSED AS ASSAULT BECAUSE YOU CANNOT TELL IF IT IS REAL OR FAKE AT A FIRST GLANCE! WHEN DEALING WITH FIREARMS, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT IT IS LOADED WITH LETHAL ROUNDS! IT ALSO INCLUDES FAKE OR UNLOADED WEAPONS! YOU COULD ALSO WHACK ASSAULTING AN OFFICER UNDERNEATH THIS CHARGE BECAUSE YOU GOTTA BE A REAL CUNTBAG TO PUNCH AN OFFICER!

So, rule of thumb. Fists? Minor assault. Breaking bones? Assault. Using a weapon? Assault. Pointing a weapon at someone to threaten them? Assault.

REGULATION 209 - ESCAPING FROM CONFINEMENT

If somehow, somewhere, some guy escapes from the brig and they were not serving a life sentence or were awaiting judgement, this is what you'll whack on them ontop of their original time. Pretty self-explanatory.

REGULATION 210 - UNLAWFUL MODIFICATION OF AI/CYBORG LAWS

This is for people who make AI upload consoles and put stupid or harmful laws to borgs/AI or emagging them. AN EXCEPTION IS WHEN SOMEONE USES A LAW RESET TO REMOVE HARMFUL LAWS! BUT BE SURE TO CONFIRM THAT WHAT THEY ARE CARRYING IS A LAW RESET MODULE!

Only the Colony Director or two Heads of Staff together can authorize a law change outside of this situation.


No, an assistant can't request for a law change. Don't be an idiot.


NEXT POST, HALF WAY THERE!
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Re: THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITIO

Postby Mr_Signmeup » Sat Dec 23, 2017 7:49 pm

REGULATION 211 - SEDATION

Oh, boy. Sedation. This is what you slap people with who are going against the chain of command or are planning to overthrow it. Basically, if atmospherics or cargo or any department turn themselves into 'independent nations', you bust in there, beat their arses and drag them to processing to get thrown into a cell for being DUMB. This charge is also used when you have evidence of people conspiring against the chain of command.

JUST A HEADS UP THAT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEDATE OR MUTINY AGAINST THE HEADS, AHELP IT! YOU BETTER COME UP WITH A GOOD FUCKING REASON WHY YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO THROW EVERYTHING AWAY! EVEN IF YOU SUCCESSFULLY TAKE OVER THE STATION! ASSET PROTECTION IS GOING TO COME OVER AND KICK YOUR GODDAMN ASS TO THE SUN AND BACK! AND YOUR CHARACTER WILL BE PK'D! So, a tip from Papa Resh. DON'T FUCKING DO IT CAUSE IN THE END, IT WON'T BE WORTH IT!

REGULATION 212 - MAJOR CONTRABAND

OH SHIT CONTRABAND AGAIN?! Again, figuring out what is contraband and what isn't contraband can be mighty difficult but I hope I will be able to assist you in this matter.

The key word is dangerous.


The dictionary defines dangerous as
able or likely to cause harm or injury.


FIREARMS, KNIVES, BATS! SHIT THAT CAN CAUSE SERIOUS FUCKING INJURY AND/OR DEATH!

Of course, BE FUCKING REASONABLE! Yes, you can arrest people for switchblades and butterfly knives BUT DON'T ARREST SOMEONE FOR CARRYING A KITCHEN KNIFE! THAT HAS AN ACTUAL PURPOSE! IF THAT KITCHEN KNIFE WAS USED IN A CRIME TO STAB SOMEONE THEN IT IS CONTRABAND! SAME WITH BASEBALL BATS! DON'T ARREST SOMEONE FOR HAVING ONE BUT IF THEY USE IT TO SMASH SHIT UP OR ATTACK SOMEONE THEN IT IS CONTRABAND!

contraband is designed with the specific purpose of breaking into secure areas


Bluespace harpoons, emags (crypto-sequencers), stuff like that. Self-explanatory.

distributing drugs


Someone with a huge shit load of drugs for no reason and no prescription?

JUST A REMINDER THAT BOTANY AND RESEARCH CAN GROW AMBROSIA VULGARIS BUT THE MOMENT THEY START HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE, SMASH THEIR LIL DRUG OPERATION INTO THE DAMN GROUND! AMBROSIA CONTAINS 'SPACE DRUGS', SOME BENEFICIAL MEDICINES AND 'TOXINS'! DRUGS ARE BAD, MKAY?!

Chief Medical Officer can also authorize the possession of normally illegal drugs through prescription.


UNLESS THE PERSON RECEIVING THE AMBROSIA HAS A GOSH DARN PRESCRIPTION FOR IT! IT IS CONSIDERED 'SPACE WEED', SO PEOPLE SMOKE IT TO CHILL OUT! MAKE SURE YOU CHECK FOR PRESCRIPTIONS!

Research is allowed to possess any contraband so long as they comply with their Contraband Policy.


RESEARCH CAN HOLD ONTO CONTRABAND AS LONG AS IT REMAINS IN RESEARCH! THE MOMENT THEY PLAN TO LEAVE RESEARCH, THEY GOTTA DUMP THAT CONTRABAND IN THEIR WORKPLACE!

ALSO INCLUDES ANYTHING ON THE IDENTIFYING ANTAGONISTS PAGE https://wiki.vore-station.net/Identifying_Antagonists

ALSO A REMINDER THAT EQUIPMENT USED IN A CRIME IS CONSIDERED CONTRABAND, SO A CROWBAR USED TO ATTACK SOMEONE WITH IS CONTRABAND OR USING INSULATED GLOVES TO PROTECT YOURSELF WHILE YOU BREAK INTO HIGH-SECURITY AREAS!

REGULATION 213 - SABOTAGE

Causing hull breaches, removing pipes that keep the atmosphere breathable, stealing vital equipment. Yes, running off with the supermatter core would be considered sabotage. Say, if there's a pirate raid and you took all the weapons from the armoury, you would be slapped with sabotage as well. INTENT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED HERE If you ran off with the supermatter core because you wanted to make your own super matter engine outside but couldn't be arsed to speak with Cargo about ordering one. Yeah, I'll still slap this charge on your stupid ass but will probably lessen the time cause you didn't purposefully run off with it to fuck with the station. But, if you took all the weapon from the armory in order to arm a small milita against the pirates, it may be overlooked if the pirates are successfully beaten back.

REGULATION 214 - EXCEEDING OFFICIAL POWERS


Ever had the Chief Engineer wandering over to you while you were arresting one of their engineers on a legitimate charge and they ordered you to leave them alone? I HAVEN'T AND I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE EITHER! But, this is what you'll slap the CE with after you're done with their engineer. Heads of Staff ordering other departments around is no good. If the Head of Personnel is ordering Sec around while there's an active Head of Security, this is also a valid charge to whack the HoP with.

This also covers people who self-promote themselves or grant themselves all access. HoP shouldn't have all access and an assistant shouldn't be able to open the armory airlocks.

This'll also cover somebody who steals the Captain's spare ID (which is grand theft as well) INSTEAD OF DISCUSSING IT WITH ANY ACTIVE HEADS OF STAFF IN RETRIEVING IN TO FIX STUFF UP IN AN EMERGENCY! GOOD JOB JUMPING THE GUN, FUCKHEAD! SPEAKING OF GRAND THEFT

REGULATION 215 - GRAND THEFT


WEAPONS, EXPLOSIVES, AMMUNITION! Obviously but also stuff from the 'high-risk' page.

Captain Spare ID I would throw underneath as well cause you gotta inflitrate into a 'secure area' and it gives you access to EVERYTHING!

Gem-Encrusted Voidsuit also counts, as well as any Vault Heists.

REGULATION 216 - ORGANIZING A BREAKOUT

SELF EXPLANATORY! If a crew member attempts to, plans to or succeeds in breaking people out of the brig. You throw them into the brig instead for fifteen minutes. THIS ONLY COUNTS FOR THE OUTSIDE PARTIES, THE PERSON ESCAPING FROM THE BRIG SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH REG 209 'ESCAPING FROM CONFINEMENT'

REGULATION 217 - ILLEGAL BLOCKING OF AREAS


Some dumb-ass building tables/walls in the middle of the corridor? Some idiot left his mech in the doorway preventing people from exiting? Some 'jokster' putting out tape in the corridors to make it difficult to navigate a hallway even though there is no emergency? An engineer bolting airlocks for no real reason? THIS IS WHAT YOU WHACK THEM WITH!

REGULATION 218 - FAILURE TO OBEY SAFETY PROTOCOLS

Non-engineers opening fire hatches into a crisis zone "CAUSE MUH FRIEND IS IN THERE!" to people bypassing engineering tape cause "TRUST ME, IM AN ENGINEER EVEN THOUGH IM NOT CURRENTLY ASSIGNED AS ONE!" WELL GOOD JOB SHITHEAD, YOU JUST MADE EVERYONE'S LIFE HARDER FOR INTERFERING IN SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT FUCKING CONCERN YOU! May need to slap obstruction of duty onto the same people as well.

REGULATION 219 - SEVERE USE OF EXCESSIVE FORCE


Did you just beat a criminal within an inch of their life? Did you panic when you heard the faint rustling sounds of a belt or a bag being rummaged through, thinking they're going to pull out a gun and proceed to shoot them to near-death with an energy gun? EXPECT TO GET SLAPPED WITH THIS CHARGE THEN! YOU SHOULD NOT BE SENDING PEOPLE TO THE OPERATING THEATRE IN MEDICAL WHEN YOU DETAIN THEM!

REGULATION 220 - MISTREATMENT OF PRISONERS

Pretty obvious. Ensure Prisoners Rights are upheld. Don't punch or hit prisoners, DON'T FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE, don't cram unwilling prisoners into damp, dark holes that they might not even come out of again. If you want to eat an unwilling criminal and gurgle them, be quiet about it! IF A CRIMINAL DOESN'T LOOC THAT THEY DON'T WANT BELLY BRIGGING, YOU CAN BELLY BRIG THEM WITH NO GURGLES, IT IS A PERFECTLY VIABLE SOLUTION THAN A CELL!
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Re: THE UNOFFICAL GUIDE TO CORPORATE REGS - LIZARDMAN EDITIO

Postby Mr_Signmeup » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:16 pm

REGULATION 221 - VIOLATING EMPLOYEE PRIVACY

OH SHIT, TWO CHARGES RELATING TO PRIVACY?! WHO KNEW!

Yes, there are two laws to keep people from being complete fucking cunts, who knew? Same thing as I described way, way, waaay back up in minor infractions. DO NOT USE SPY KITS, DO NOT HACK CAMERA CONSOLES TO SPY THROUGH COMMUNICATOR CAMERAS, DO NOT USE HEAT-VISION GOGGLES OR XRAY VISION! DO NOT STATE HOW YOU SAW SUCH AND SUCH WALK INTO THE DORMITORIES TOGETHER AND BROADCAST HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DO THE SEX TO THE PUBLIC! DO NOT RANDOMLY SEARCH PEOPLE OR DEPARTMENTS UNLESS YOU HAVE A WARRANT OR IT IS CODE BLUE! This also covers people leaking personal records to the public. Such as medical talking about someone's hemorrhoids on the public channel. Don't do that.

THAT'S THE END OF MEDIUM LEVEL REGULATIONS, NOW ONTO THE BIGGEST OF THE BOYS! HIGH-SEVERITY INFRACTIONS!

CHAPTER FIVE: BIG BOY CRIMES!

These Infractions generally need to be ruled on by a tribunal as explained by further below, and criminals should be held until judgement can be passed.


AW SHIT DO I NEED TO PROVE THAT X MURDERED SOMEONE?! NO SHIT HEAD, HERE'S THE DEAL!

You, as an officer, can charge someone with attempted murder and chuck them in a cell for sixty minutes. HOWEVER THAT IS NOT THE PUNISHMENT FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER! IT IS MERELY GIVING A TRIBUNAL AN HOUR TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO WITH THE GUY!

Leave the tribunal shit to the Head of Security, cause if the tribunal cannot come to a decision, Central Command will. SO KEEP THAT IN MIND!

REGULATION 301 - MURDER

This is where someone kills someone else in COLD FUCKING BLOOD! Just remember, to murder someone is to have a premeditated and malicious intent. YOU HAVE TO HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THE KILLING WAS INDEED COMMITTED WITH THE INTENT TO SEE THE PERSON DEAD! Evidence is usually a threat or you have records of them previously fighting throughout the shift. THIS CHARGE ALSO INCLUDES ATTEMPTED MURDER! Throw the person in for sixty minutes and let the tribunal decide what to do with them. 'Hold Until Transfer' is the recommended punishment BUT IT IS UP FOR THE TRIBUNAL TO DECIDE! You can have them spend that hour in the brig then get a tracking + chemical implant and put them on parole so they can still enjoy the rest of the round BUT BE MONITORED BY SECURITY! SO IF THEY SCREW UP AGAIN THEY CAN EASILY BE FOUND AND THROWN BACK INTO THE BRIG!

REGULATION 302 - MANSLAUGHTER

This is the charge you give people who accidentally kill people by making a honest/dishonest mistake, like opening up a fire exit in a fit of panic to only cause people to get sucked into the fiery abyss on the other side. CAN ALSO BE WHACKED ON PEOPLE WHO KILL PEOPLE IN FITS OF RAGE OR A WAVE OF HEIGHTENED EMOTIONS Also covers people who thinks stomping their attacker's head in when said attacker is now lying unconcious with a fractured pelvis is a good idea.

REGULATION 303 - MUTINY

OH UH, IT LOOKS LIKE PEOPLE DON'T REALLY APPRECIATE THE CHAIN OF COMMAND CAUSE THEY'RE READY TO KILL THEM!

This is for people who decide to take over the station VIOLENTLY! Whether by using lethal means or non-lethal means, it doesn't matter, they're still illegally trying to take the chain down and replace it with themselves! But, if some are not partaking in the violence but are being rather verbal about it, slap the 'Sedation' charge on them instead.

REGULATION 304 - TERRORISM

Basically what it says on the tin. The dictionary defines terrorism as
the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.


OF COURSE IF SOMEONE IS MAKING A FUCKING BOMB THREAT, STILL SLAP A TERRORISM CHARGE ON THEM! I DO NOT GIVE TWO FLYING FLIPS IF THEY HAVE 'POLITICAL AIMS' OR NOT, THEY'RE STILL TERRORISING PEOPLE AND THREATENING THE ENTIRE GODDAMN STATION! Starting fires on purpose, throwing lethal grenades (explosive, shrapnel, chemical) into crowded public places, using bombs to blow up the station, hostage taking. IF YOU ARE USING THIS STUFF TO CAUSE A FUCKING PANIC, I'LL MORE THAN HAPPY SLAP A TERRORISM CHARGE ON YOUR DUMB ASS! LET'S FUCKING LOOK AT THE RULES ONE MORE TIME!

Play a reasonably sane and mature character


Do reasonably sane and mature characters make bomb threats, throw grenades into public places, take hostages and deliberately set fires? NO! So, think before you do this shit, dumbass.

THOUGH WORD TO WISE, OF COURSE DON'T FUCKING ARREST SOMEONE FOR TERRORISM FOR A HARMLESS PAINTBOMB PRANK OR POPPING OFF A CLEANER GRENADE IN THE BAR TO CLEAN OFF SOME DIRT! USE YOUR COMMON, BLOODY,
SENSE!


REGULATION 305 - ASSAULTING A HEAD OF STAFF

Oh, boy. You better think fucking twice before you decide to break the bone of a Head of Staff cause that shit will immediately get you thirty minutes in the brig AND a tracking implant. The tribunal will have to decide whether to put the person on parole, hold until transfer... or execution, depending on how severely they hurt a head of staff or if they hurt MULTIPLE heads of staff.

REGULATION 306 - ESCAPING FROM HOLD UNTIL TRANSFER SENTENCE

So, you got a dangerous murderer who just somehow slipped out from the brig and is hiding from you. If you somehow managed to catch their ass. They're to be moved to solitary. The unique thing about this is that AN EXECUTION CAN BE AUTHORIZED BY THE COLONY DIRECTOR WITHOUT THE NEED OF DISCUSSING IT WITH THE REST OF THE HEADS! Or they can be kept in solitary, in a straight jacket, for the rest of the shift.

REGULATION 307 - TERRORIST COLLABORATION

Now, you don't have to cause panic to be slapped with 'terrorist collaboration' but if you're seen aiding terrorists or giving away corporate security to 'visitors', (read: antagonists in an event) This is what you'll get slapped with. OR WITH THE SAME CRIMES AS THE TERRORIST! SO IF YOUR CHARACTER WORKS FOR A SHADY APPARENTLY WELL-KNOWN CRIMINAL ORGANISATION , YOU BETTER HOPE YOU WRITE UP A SCA FOR THAT BACKSTORY CAUSE YOUR CHARACTER MIGHT FIND THEMSELVES IN A CELL FOR THE REST OF THE SHIFT Suspected agents are to be put through a tribunal to prove that they are working against the station/Nanotrasen. Unless capturing them is proving fruitless. Then it is usually agreed that they are more than likely an agent and a 'kill' order may be issued due to the fact that they may be armed and dangerous.

REGULATION 308 - SEXUAL ASSAULT

To aggressively force yourself onto someone sexually. Rape. Rarely ever charged to peeps.

REGULATION 309 - WRONGFUL EXECUTION

Since executions are extremely, extremely rare, I doubt you will ever encounter this one. HOWEVER IF YOU DO! It is usually because an investigation was launched by IA or Central Command. It also covers the fact that the Colony Director has to authorise the execution, not the acting director. The CD receives the 'Wrongful Execution' charge and anyone who presented false evidence will be charged with murder if evidence is found to support the fact that the person was indeed innocent or the crime was in fact one of less severity. THE COLONY DIRECTOR ONLY GETS CHARGED WITH MURDER AND WRONGFUL EXECUTION IF THE TRIBUNAL WAS SKIPPED!

CHAPTER SIX - SPECIAL RULES

REGULATION 401 - INDUCEMENT

Pretty self-explanatory. When someone forces someone or manipulates the system to make it seem like someone has done a crime. For example, an officer provoking a crew member to the point where the member of the crew punches the officer, resulting in the officer arresting them on assault charges. OR an officer being a right pain in the ass then arresting someone who insults him for being a right pain in the ass.

REGULATION 402 - PIRACY

Y'know when someone breaks onto a trader/mercenary shuttle to steal equipment on it but then they argue that technically it ain't NT property so they can't be charged with trespassing/infilitration? WELL FEAR NOT CAUSE NOW YOU CAN TREAT THEM LIKE THE FUCKING PIRATE SCUM THEY ARE! IF YOU HEAR COMPLAINTS FROM THE CREW OF A SHIP THAT A MEMBER OF THE STATION IS TRYING TO FORCE THEIR WAY INSIDE, YOU BETTER RUN OVER THERE AND DELIVER THAT HOT ROD OF JUSTICE ONTO THEIR FUCKING ASS AND DRAG THEM TO A CELL! Get in contact with Central Command once you've done that and they'll handle it from there. More than likely, it'll be a hold until transfer because piracy is a scummy move to do.

CHAPTER SEVEN - MODIFIERS AND UNIQUE SITUATIONS

CO-OPERATION WITH PROSECUTION AND/OR SECURITY

This is where someone comes to the brig like you asked or is very helpful in answering questions without being a right cunt about it. Give this modifier to people that are being good boys and girls about their sentence.

IMMEDIATE THREAT TO THE PRISONER

The supermatter is going to explode or a revengeful crew member is breaking through the brig to get to them. You have to relocate them OR RELEASE THEM SO THEY CAN GET TO A SAFE PLACE!

Hold until Judgement and Hold until Transfer sentences must be reapplied if you were forced to release them so that they can safely escape the danger.

MEDICAL REASONS
Pretty obvious, ensure they have access to a doctor. If they request for a doctor, get one to visit the brig. If they're experiencing a severe medical episode, such as organ damage or a broken limb. Handcuff them and escort them to medical to get reviewed and treated. WHILE THEY ARE RECIEVING MEDICAL TREATMENT, THE TIMER IS STILL TICKING DOWN, SO KEEP THAT IN MIND!

PRIVACY VIOLATED

This is when you use anything other than cameras to pin someone for a crime they committed. Illegal searches, spying on them with spy kits, hacking into their communicator, etc.

ENTRAPMENT

See regulation 402, Inducement. Basically, when someone is forced to commit a crime by someone else either through bribery, blackmail, lies, threats of violence or provocation.

REPEAT OFFENDERS

This modifier is very useful for those 'troublemaker' characters. If they continuously do the same crime, over and over, you can amp the time up. If they commit the same regulation twice, you do not need authorisation from the Head of Security to apply the additional punishments EXCEPT FOR DEMOTION/EXECUTION!

So for example. Someone is charged with 105 and spends five minutes in the brig. Second time, go to 8 minutes. Third time. Multiply the sentence by 2. So, 16 minutes. Fourth time. 32 minutes. Fifth time. 64 minutes. Sixth Time. Since it goes OVER 90 MINUTES, IT IS AUTOMATICALLY A HOLD UNTIL TRANSFER

SELF DEFENSE

If a person attempts to flee from their attack but is unable to, forcing them to retaliate with force. Put this into consideration. Be advise that the person needs to attempt to RETREAT first before 'self defense' can be applied. If they get attacked by someone and promptly attack back, then self-defense is not justifiable.

SURRENDER


For those people that know they've done a naughty and nobody knows about it but they feel so guilty they come to confess it at Security. COMPLYING WITH AN ARREST DOES NOT COUNT AS SURRENDERING! YOU NEED TO SHOW UP TO THE BRIG WITHOUT BEING ASKED TO AND CONFESSING!

VICTIM IN A WILLFULLY DANGEROUS POSITION

This modifier is there to stop people bitching about preds eating people. If a prey wants to be eaten and has communicated that they are fine with it. BACK THE FUCK OFF! However, I say you can still tell 'em to take it somewhere private cause not every character wants to see someone glurking and gagging as they gulp down some fat ass cat while they're trying to enjoy a nice drink. Subtle emotes are your friends, use 'em.

AND WITH THAT, THAT IS THE END OF CORPORATE REGULATIONS! HOLY FUDGE NUGGETS!

There is some stuff about the bottom but that is mostly just definitions and a guide to tribunals and some OOC notes. I HOPE THIS IS OF SOME HELP AND YOU TAKE SOMETHING AWAY FROM IT!

If you got any questions, comments, suggestions or noticed an inconsistency in the guide. Just let me know here or on Discord. THANKS FOR READING!
[+]

THIS GUIDE IS SUBJECTED TO CHANGE!
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